#if they cared about my well-being they wouldn’t wait until the night before the work week begins to put out the schedule
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working for small business owners really shows you just how corruptive power is
#personal#rant#like. they do NOT care about my well being.#if they did they wouldn’t have me work 6+ days in a row#while i’m A FULL TIME COLLEGE SENIOR#if they cared about my well-being they wouldn’t wait until the night before the work week begins to put out the schedule#just UGH man this shit sucks.#i don’t even know if i’m working tomorrow. i don’t know when my next day off is.
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Logan begging for it.... so sweetly we cant refuse..... when he knows reader needs his sleep..... taking it in his even when it stays soft...... cockwarming reader while we sleeps.....
Yes im writing whis as I fall asleep
Logan Howlett x male reader
headcanons
I was gonna write a longer thing, but a migraine decided to kick my ass all of a sudden, so here I am simply rambling about this.
Imagine having a normal but exhausting day job. You’re no hero, no vigilante, no nothing, you’re just a guy. And you somehow ended up charming the pants off of The Wolverine of all people. How? You have no idea
Dating Logan is a real treat, even with his roughness and sometimes standoffish personality. When you guys really get close, he starts to get more vulnerable.
Along with vulnerable emotionally, he also starts to get a much stronger libido, seeing as he has a partner now. Him having a healing factor doesn’t help you in this case, since it means he has very little recovery time.
Seeing Logan, one would think hed be the dominant one, something you assumed in the beginning too. That was until you guys got intimate the first time and he shoved you onto your back to ride you instead.
There were no complaints from you obviously, because who’d mind having someone like that riding you? Logan in his broad, hairy and so very heavy way, lifting himself up and down on you like it was barely a workout.
You have to remind him to be careful though, multiple times, seeing as his bones make him extra heavy, and your poor hips are that of the average person.
Having a partner with a libido like that though, also means Logan is always raring to go, almost waiting for you by the door when you get home from your shift, like an old gruff dog waiting for affection.
The first week or two of you coming home dead on your feet and passing out on the couch the moment you sat down passed… as well as they could for Logan. He wouldn’t force you to do anything you hadn’t agreed with, but God, is he starting to get antsy.
After way too long, in Logans opinion at least, he finally can’t take it anymore. Being the Loverboy he secretly is, he at least brings you to your shared bed before clambering on top of you again.
You’re just too exhausted to do much other than pet at his thighs, eyes already drooping, but his almost timid but so desperate begging keeps you awake longer than other days. When you sleepily agree, Logan kisses you so hungrily you almost lose your breath.
You stay somewhat awake in the beginning as he works your clothes off, being kind enough not to rip it even if logan really really wanted too. He knows its your work clothes, and you’ve scolded him enough times about ripping up your clothes at this point.
It was hard to even really stay awake as Logan worked you hard, just enough for him to slide down on you, his groans sounding like he was a starving man having his first bite of food in weeks. Had you not been struggling to keep your eyes open, you might have teased him.
When Logan leans forward and just rests his weight on you, that was the last straw. Who could stay awake with such a warm heavy weight pressing down on them, like your own personal weighted wolverine blanket.
Logan didn’t even really feel the need to ride you or get himself off, he just wanted to be close to you like this, to feel you inside him and press up against you. So having slowly doze off under him wasn’t a bother, especially as you mumble for him to just keep going.
Most of the night is majorly used by Logan to just tuck his face into your neck and huff your scent, or rub his own against you. You will wake up with beard burns, sorry but those at the rules. Theres probably some chew marks and hickeys mixed in there too, Logans possessive.
You do wake up with very sore hips the next morning. In the comics he’s 300 lbs, but that’s with his comic height, so if were going off of movie Logan he weighs even more. And no matter how much you work out, that’s gotta make you sore.
You don’t really mind though, especially as Logan makes sure you massage your hips in ways you didn’t even know were possible. This also just gives Logan an excuse to lick and gnaw at you more, and to rub more of his scent into you, and yours into him.
Yes, you limp that day, and probably the day after. Luckily you’re able to work from home. This of course also means you have Logan on your dick the entire time, even if its just your mutant lover crawling under the blanket to get his mouth on you.
#male reader#logan howlett#wolverine#x men#marvel#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett headcanon#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x male reader#wolverine imagine#wolverine headcanon#wolverine x reader#wolverine x male reader#x men x reader#x men headcanon#x men x male reader#x men imagine#marvel imagine#marvel headcanon#marvel x male reader#marvel x reader#x-men#x-men imagine#x-men headcanon#x-men x male reader#x-men x reader#deadpool and wolverine imagine#deadpool and wolverine headcanon#deadpool 3
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Wanna be my part-time cat?
pairing: Max Verstappen x shifter!reader
summary: You can turn into a cat and spent a really nice day as one in Monaco. Until some maniac picked you up and took you home, that is.
part two
It wasn't your fault. No, really, it wasn't. You were minding your own business, wandering around the streets of Monaco as a cat, occasionally begging for pets, and enjoying the view from the side of the road, watching as luxury cars kept passing by. It was a good day. Relaxing.
But then this idiot appeared, for some reason assuming you were planning to jump in front of a car, and he didn't hesitate to pick you up. “You shouldn't be hanging out here, it's dangerous,” he cooed as he scratched your ear.
It was nice, all right, but being held without waiting for you to decide whether or not you wanted it was too much. You tried to twist your body to escape, but he only adjusted his grip to keep you there in his arms. You watched him with your ears pushed back, but he only smiled.
“You don't have a collar. Who would let such a beautiful ragdoll out without one? You must be a stray,” he added, clearly thinking about something that you had a feeling you wouldn’t like. “All right, you're coming with me. I'm sure you'll get along with my cats.”
He carried you to his car and gently put you on the passenger seat, and even as he drove, he kept glancing over at you with that stupid smile on his face. When he reached out to touch you, you hissed at him and backed away, hoping this would make him understand that you didn't want to be there.
He kept talking to you in a hushed tone to calm you down, as if you were a little kid, and it became a lot more effective when you didn't hear the engine of his car running in the background anymore. You became sleepy and couldn't hold back a yawn, but that only made him chuckle before grabbing you and taking you up to his home.
“You'll stay in my bedroom for a while, just until the others get used to having you around,” he explained over the meowing of his other cats. “It's okay, you'll get to know her, don't freak out,” he then told the other two.
All you could do was play along for now. It was Saturday afternoon, you only had to work on Monday, so hopefully you'd get the chance to sneak out before that. Once he put you on his bed, he sat down and waited for you to make the first move. You didn't want to do that, so you just kept staring at him, hoping he would get the message and leave you alone.
He didn't. Well, he did leave for a few minutes at the time, but he always returned before you could do anything about your situation. Late at night he put his handheld console aside and lay down in bed, patting the mattress next to him in an attempt to convince you to move over to him.
But you didn't move, you simply sat there in the armchair next to the bed and watched him with a judging look in your blue eyes. He looked over at you every now and then, but eventually he let out a long sigh and said, “Please, stop staring at me like that.”
For a short while you kept watching him, but then you let it go and curled up to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you jumped over to the bed and took a closer look at him. He was familiar, but you couldn't remember where you had met him. Either way, he smelled good. And he was warm. And there was a little empty space on the left side of the bed next to him that was the perfect size for you.
Though you felt the bed shift in the morning, you were too lazy to open your eyes. If he wanted to leave, he could, it was his place, and right now you were way too comfortable to care. But when you realized he had been away for a little too long compared to the day before, you decided to move closer to the door to eavesdrop.
No sounds were coming from outside. Maybe he left. Maybe this was your chance to get away. Knowing opening doors and dealing with locks would be a little difficult as a cat, you shifted back into your human form. Before you went anywhere, you decided to raid his walk-in closet and look for something to wear.
You weren't a big sports fan, but thanks to a friend who was a die-hard Red Bull Racing fan, you recognized their merch right away. Why did he have multiple t-shirts? You rolled your eyes, but still decided to steal one of those–at least you could hand it over to your friend–before moving on to find some shorts or sweatpants.
The biggest obstacle turned out to be waiting right outside the bedroom door; his other cats. When you opened it to leave the room, they immediately raced there and kept hissing at you, convincing you that maybe you shouldn't force leaving on your own. You didn't want to reveal your secret, but those damn idiots didn't give you another choice.
So you lay down on the bed and waited for the man of the house to return. Your sense of smell was weaker as a human, but you still recognized that familiar musky scent of his that was all over the pillow. It was surprisingly nice, you could've slept pretty well here if you were about to let that happen.
Another two hours passed before you finally heard the front door close, and you sat on the edge of the bed to wait for him. A very small, but very loud part of you couldn't wait to see him again. You tried to shut it up, you tried to remind yourself that he quite literally kidnapped you, but this little voice kept telling you that he thought you were just a normal cat.
“What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? And why are you in my clothes?” you heard his annoyed voice the moment he entered the room.
He wasn't freaked out, if anything, he was annoyed. Did it happen often? Did random women show up in his home every now and then? Rolling your eyes, you shrugged then pointed a finger at him.
“You were the one who locked me up here,” you told him.
The man took a threatening step forward, his phone already in his hand. “I most definitely didn't. And where's my cat?” he asked as he looked around to see if you were hiding somewhere.
With a sigh, you stood up and walked over to him. “Right in front of you. And by the way, I wasn't planning to jump in front of those cars, I was perfectly happy where I was. Oh, and I was staring at you from the armchair because I didn't trust you,” you informed him with a cheeky grin.
It took him a few seconds to comprehend your words. At first he didn't seem to believe you, but then he gulped and nodded. “Okay, let's say I believe you. How?” he asked with his hands on his hips.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“I won't tell you. I can't.”
Letting out a frustrated groan, he gently grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled you closer. “So you're telling me that I found a gorgeous cat that I can't keep?” You nodded, although this close proximity put some strange ideas in your head that you tried to push aside for now. “Too bad, I slept so well once you curled up next to me.”
You tilted your head to the side as you watched him. Was he flirting with you? Well, he sure wasn't wasting his time. “I don't even know who you are,” you informed him.
He looked genuinely surprised. “You don't?” You shook your head in response. “I'm Max. Three-time Formula 1 world champion, but who's counting,” he added with a laugh. Realization probably became visible on your face, because his smile grew even wider. “So you've heard about me.”
Nodding, you tried to look anywhere but into those stupid blue eyes. “My friend's a big fan.”
“Then keep the shirt. Not everyone has one of these. And it also looks good on you,” he added, making you clear your throat. It wasn't good, he knew perfectly well how to get under your skin. “But seriously, I want my cat back.”
“I have a life with responsibilities, I can't be a full-time cat,” you told him with a laugh.
“Then be my part-time cat. Do whatever you want during the day, then come here and be my cat for the night,” he suggested.
You looked at the door over his shoulder where you saw a glimpse of one of the cats. “Your other cats hate me. I couldn't even leave your bedroom,” you said with a pout.
Max turned back to look at the criminals in question. “It'll be fine,” he said when he turned back to you.
But you didn't look convinced, and your words confirmed that when you pushed his hands away and took a step back from him. “I should go. I'll get your clothes cleaned and return them as soon as I can,” you promised.
“No need. But think about my offer.” You nodded, then pointed at the door as you took a hesitant step towards it. “Right, the cats. Come with me, they'll leave you alone if I'm there.”
He took your hand on the way to the front door, and it was getting harder and harder to convince yourself it was bad. Because it wasn't. It was nice. And you couldn't deny that last night you slept pretty well next to him. It was comfortable. Being near him was comfortable.
Fuck.
You were actually beginning to consider his offer.
#i'm sorry#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#f1#formula 1#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine
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~Blood & BLISS~
Human!Alastor x wife!Reader
Themes: 1930 based! Human!Alastor x wife!Reader, domestic life! fluff, smut, devotion, slight manipulation, mention of children, pregnancy, blood, murder, secrets
chapter two
Synopsis: Marrying New Orleans famous radio host had been a shocker to everyone. You, a southern belle from an esteemed family, had somehow managed to catch the attention of the mysterious bachelor.
Your wedding was all in the papers and talk of the town, even though the ceremony was rather private.
You quickly settled in as the homemaker as Alastor brought home the dough and took care of you.
It was a dream come true.
But Alastor was strange, even to you and you were his wife, but you brushed it off as him just being a man. You had nothing to complain about. You lived in a nice big house, had the finest luxuries, and Alastor would dote on you. What wasn’t to love?
Well… all those things were nice, but you were starting to crave a family with your husband.
You knew of Alastor’s upbringing and had an inkling that children might not be an option…but Alastor wouldn’t deny you what you desired most would he? Of course not ma belle.
Alastor prided himself on how people often wondered about him. The renowned radio host, who the public rarely saw. He was a mystery to many. He frequented jazz lounges and often could be found drinking whiskey as he listened to the Mimzy gossip about the latest news.
He, himself was shocked when he met you, the prettiest thing in the city. He had to have you. He knew you were the one.
Like the gentleman he was, he sent you flowers and love letters to begin courting you. He never tired of how shy you were around him.
It wasn’t long before he asked your father for your hand and the two of you got hitched.
And what a wedding it was! he spared no expense to your disapproval.
Alastor was the epitome of what every husband inspired to be!
Doting, providing, and attentive.
But he had a secret he kept from his little wife…
Can he maintain control over his domestic affairs and his sinister ones?
Soft jazz played in the background as you busied around the kitchen preparing dinner. The sizzling of the oil carried the scent of fried chicken as you chopped collards and added them to another pan to fry.
You hummed along to whatever song was playing as you cooked.
You took the chicken out of the grease, poured some of it in a can for later and used the rest to make cornbread. You stirred the collards a bit, adding pepper and a little salt before turning the stove off. You glanced at the clock; 6pm, Alastor should be coming home soon.
After putting everything in pretty dishes and wrapping it in foil you sighed tiredly as you finally got off your feet, plopping down on a couch.
You almost wanted to go back into the kitchen and clean up, but thought to just wait after dinner to do so.
You perked as your radio made a noise, static as if the channel had changed, before the voice of your husband came through.
”Well folks that is all. I have for you tonight! I hope you enjoyed today’s broadcast and I will see you tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to be late for dinner nonono haha. Until next time!”
You smiled, feeling happy he wasn’t going to stay at the studio all night.
With that in mind, you quickly ran upstairs to freshen up, wanting to greet your husband without the smell of grease clinging to you.
“I’m home!” A voice called as the sound of the front door closing had you rushing downstairs.
Alastor was taking off his coat, when you greeted him “Oh let me take that” you smiled, grabbing his coat to put it away. He let out a relieved sigh as he removed his shoes and put them by the door. Once comfortable, his long arms were around your waist, pulling you into a kiss “And how was my beautiful wife today hmm?” He asked bringing a dainty hand to his lips. You giggled “Oh nothing worth mentioning. How was work today? I heard you signing off. I hate that I missed tonight’s broadcast” you mused, untying his bow tie. Alastor hummed “oh you know same ole same ole, through I will say I got a lot of fan mail today” he chuckled as you rolled your eyes. He took a whiff of the air and grinned “Hmm looks like I actually made it in time for dinner”
You both made your way to the kitchen and you immediately went to fix his plate, while he got glasses out of the cabinet and some red wine.
Alastor practically had drool coming out of his mouth as the smell of food wafted into his nose. You took a seat across from him and smiled. “My my my dear what a meal youve prepared tonight!” He commented as he took a bite out of the cornbread, moaning in delight.
It always filled your heart with happiness seeing Alastor eat your food. When you first got married, you didn’t have a clue on how to cook. It was rather embarrassing, but you had grown up with personal cooks.
But Alastor didn’t mind teaching you, and soon enough you were whipping up delicious meals that filled his stomach, rather than upset it.
Dinner was quiet as the two of you enjoyed each others company, Alastor making comments about the lastest gossip he had heard and you catching him on the neighborhood gossip. “Oh before I forget, Mimzy wants to know if you wanted to swing by the lounge this weekend. Something about I keep you to myself too much” Alastor laughed, swiping at his mouth. You laughed, that sounded like Mimzy. Always hoping to get a chance at you singing on stage so she could make a few extra bucks. “Well tell ‘er not this weekend, I have plans to host a few of the ladies for book club. Rosie is sure to have some gossip I’ve missed.”
Alastor quirked a brow “You sure dear? I fear Mimzy will chew me a new one if she don’t get to see ou” You mulled it over “Well book club usually don’t take that long and its during tea time so I guess I don’t mind gracing the lounge with my presence” you giggled, getting up and taking your empty dishes to the sink. Alastor followed you and quickly swatted your hands as you reached to turn the sink on.
“Now now my dear, you spent all evening cooking the least I can do is wash the dishes. The chef shouldn’t cook and clean” he nudged you away from the sink as you pouted.
It never ceased to amazed you that Alastor took on household chores. Most husbands had their wives cook and clean, but not your Alastor.
He didn’t like you to tire out from maintaining the home all day.
You pressed a kiss to his cheek in thanks and told him you’ll be upstairs getting ready for bed.
You had just finished rolling your hair when Alastor came up to your bedroom. You sighed as you sunk into the cool cotton sheets, finally relaxing for the day. You didn’t realized you had quickly fell asleep until feeling Alastor slide into bed beside you, arm pulling you to tuck you into his side and rest your head on his chest.
You happily cuddled into him, breathing in his scent as the sound of his heartbeat lulled you back to sleep.
A yawn passed your lips as began to fall asleep
”Goodnight”
”Sleep tight dear”
”Don’t let the bedbugs bite”
”haha see you in the morning light love” he whispered pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sighed, chest heaving in deep breaths.
Alastor smiled at your sleeping face; how lucky was he to have a sweet wife who worked so hard while he was gone. His eyes grew heavy as he listened to your soft snores.
What bliss. He wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh why and how did my mind conjure this when I have other things to write eeeeeeehhhh!!!!!!!
Anyway….this is gonna be ANOTHER short story hehehe. Since I wrote it on a whim it might take some time for me to post the next part but I hope y’all enjoy it nevertheless!
Remember to comment on the pinned post as I have a hard time finding everyone to tag since y’all are scattered on different posts!
if i missed anyone my bad!!!!
@nightshadelm @th3-st4r-gur1 @amurtan @lunaramune @southern-bayou-beau @monstersealclubber @certifiedcrybabyyy @karolinda007-blog @theveiledlibrarian @simphornies @yourdoorisunlocked @nettaw @purplecatsandhearts @catherine1206 @jellibean2018 @thewinchestah @wonderlandangelsposts @alishii @readergirlstuff @whydohumansss @missgurlsstuff @yuzurixx @darkovergrownforestnymph @dasimp777 @markster666 @alastorsgirl48 @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @preciousbabypeter @alastwhore666 @strawberrypimp666 @stawberrypimpsimp @queenariesofnarnia @peachedtvs @peachedtv @tpks @siiv3r @hazelfoureyes @okay-babe @aconfusedworld @chewbrry @altruisticalastor @yunimimii @dievia3 @alastorsdear @alastorsdarlingdoe @t0byisher3 @dennsfz @twismare @nanami1chu @yoongibabs @menthatilove @smoky000
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor the radio demon#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#jyoongim#alastor x y/n#alastor smut#alastor hazbin hotel#human alastor x reader#human alastor#alastor x wife reader#alastor fluff#hazbin alastor x reader#alastor imagine#alastor x you#alastor headcanons
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convenient pt.3 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,
pt. 1 | pt.2 (you cannot read this without prior reading)
summary - spencer likes the girl from the convenience store
warnings - awkward conversations and long silences, both of them being hopeless romantics, allergies/sickness
genre - fluff!!! college!fem!reader x earlyseasons!spencer
a/n - thank you for the love and support on this series. it goes without saying i appreciate all of you all 🫶 thank u @raevyng for the cameo. sorry this is short, it’s either i upload this part or i make y’all wait for another week - i like you guys too much to do that.
“good job on you’re stem cell report, y/n. it was very informed and unique. i liked the, now who was it… william blake quote you included!” the teacher spoke before a class of 60. it was back to teaching new information before the next assessment, you were just about finished typing the professor’s notes before she spoke up. the mention of your name nearly made you jump.
a few of the students looked back up at you, some looking around because they had no clue who you were. you liked it better that way.
you also had no idea who william blake was.
“oh- um. thanks.” you say barely above a whisper. professor raena simply smiled and pushed back her shoulder length bob from her face. she started talking again, so did your friend.
“thanks? the professor who’s known to call out people for their incompetence more than smile in the classroom just praised you. that’s all you had to say?”
maybe logan wasn’t your friend per say. maybe she was just someone who sat next to you the first class and also happened to be your neighbour. she was stubborn and straight-forward, insanely intelligent and also smelt great. but she was caring, and gave you tough love when you needed it.
you glanced at her and smiled awkwardly, “i didn’t have much time to think about an answer.”
“i spend most of my time thinking about what i’d say to professor raena if she ever complimented me.”
“that’s because your-“ you suddenly muffle a cough into your hand, “obsessed with her.” you bring out a small packet of tissues from your bag and wipe your nose, nose reddening. logan leans slightly away from you and you roll your eyes.
“you’re not going to catch anything, it’s just allergies.” you lean back and try to continue typing notes but logan continues,
“you should go home, have some medicine, get some sleep.”
“i can’t, i’ve got work.” you whispered, a man in front of you turning around to shoot you with a side eye.
“you’ve told me multiple times that your manager wouldn’t care if you stole from the store. i’ve also told you many times i also don’t care.”
“yeah well… i like working there, that’s all.”
she rolls her eyes again, and waves you off, her long brown hair blocking her disappointed expression from you.
you stayed loyal to your job for two nights, for nothing. sure you got paid, and sure you got to steal some strawberry milk to ease your throat for a couple of minutes, but it felt boring. you actually started to file through the month old magazines you sold for double the price of a new one. you almost made it a third day without dying of allergies (and another secret feeling of sickness you constantly ignored), before you decided you were over it.
you stood up, flipped the door sign so the word ‘open’ faced you, and turned off half of the fluorescent lights before someone was suddenly in the corner of your eyes. spencer was opening the door so quickly you thought you were being robbed, you wouldn’t have seen him if not for the bell ringing on his entry.
“y/n.” he panted, watching your fingers hover over the last light switch. there was two lights left flickering softly above the front door and the check out desk. he looked stoic in the light, dressed in a grey sweater a little too big for him (like his mother had bought it for him telling him he’d grow into it) and black slacks. he seemed to have gotten a trim, his hair just under his ears now. “you don’t close until 1.”
he was confused, eyes wandering with a light hint of relief. like he was happy he didn’t miss you.
“yeah.” is all you said before you turned away from the light switch and returned to the register, assuming he would get his usual. but he didn’t keep walking, he just turned his body to face you. his eyes were expectant, delirious in a way like he needed something from you.
it was silent before the tension literally forced you to speak, “um. i need to close the store before i pass out. so i can uh… get home alive.” you look down and realise the pile of tissues before you was making a mountain, quickly grabbing them and stuffing them in an over filled bin.
“um.” a cat caught his tongue, he looked down to his feet.
spencer was sitting in his desk chair, scrolling on his government provided computer through forums and websites on ‘how to ask out a girl.’ not realising a majority of his team was reading them as well. he heard a small, familiar giggle behind him, quickly closing the tab and turning his head to be met with many other faces. jj slapped garcia on the shoulder with a smile, who’s hand was over her mouth, morgan and emily also smiling. spencer sighed and was about to cover for himself before morgan stepped in,
“look, pretty boy. no websites or article is ever going to teach you how to ask out a girl. they know nothing.”
emily joined, “yeah, none of those things are going to work. i mean, one of those said ‘don’t take no for an answer’. that’s straight up harassment.” she chuckled. morgan walked forward and placed a hand on spencer’s shoulder.
“all you have to do is talk. learn to what she likes, and be confident.”
“that’s easy for you to say.” spencer mumbled.
“who is this girl anyways? who’s taking our genius away from us?” garcia asked, today her hair was adorned with green themed pieces and a small pink flower clip.
spencer couldn’t help but let the corners of his mouth perk up when he thought about the girl who worked at the convenience store. the girl who’s report honestly impressed him. the girl who knew his total without looking at the register. the girl who called him good looking without noticing, like it slipped off of her tongue with no second thought. “just someone.”
you were not just someone.
“yeah you should get home. you look terrible.” spencer’s eyes widened as you raised an eyebrow, “no i mean- not terrible- you never look or have ever looked terrible- i just meant today- no you- like you’re sick and obviously- i mean you don’t obviously look terrible- it’s just uh…” he nodded at himself after he noticed a smile creeping onto your face. “you know what i mean.”
“i know i look terrible, thank you.” he was slowly walking up to the register.
“you really should go home, i shouldn’t keep you here because of some coffee.”
you eyes stung and were puffed in redness, you nose dried yet running, eyebrow lines permanent from warding off a migraine. any other customer you would stay for, but you felt less guilty with him. not because you didn’t care, because you knew he did.
“yeah, thank you.” you grabbed your bag, put your empty water bottle into it and walked over to the lights, turning off the last ones, leaving you both in darkness. spencer was waiting for you, quite creepily as he was basically just a block of void. “you sure you don’t need your 3 minute lasagne?” you joked, and he smiled.
“no, this is fine.”
this? them? you thought this man was articulate.
you opened the door with a key-accessed button that automatically locked it after it closed, and walked into the warm streetlight with spencer.
“bye spencer.” you looked up to him only to find his eyes already on you. his face was plain of emotion, except maybe it was just the lighting that made you think he looked disappointed. not at you, at himself. he was silent, hands making their way into his pockets. it was a habit, you had learned. “what’s wrong spencer?” you asked softly, sniffling immediately after.
it was cold, the wind let a stray piece of hair cross your stuffy features.
“do you like old bookstores, y/n?”
you blinked, taken aback. “yeah. i like old bookstores.” you huddled into your sweater, a darker grey compared to his with a large font displaying your university.
“okay, goodbye y/n. see you tomorrow.” he hurried off into his car and you followed him with you eyes in curiosity.
you were already walking away before he could turn around and ask you something, he felt like he had missed his chance. but there would be more. spencer closed his eyes in frustration and took a breath, starting his car before texting the team’s group chat.
“Attempt One failed. 😐👎”
there was a string of messages after but he didn’t read them. all he could think about was the percentage of people who die alone, and then the percentage of people who are like you.
the next night he appeared at the normal time, around nearly 11pm. but he wasn’t the only one, logan was there with you, studying behind you on the floor.
she was bored, and needed to get out of her room, and the only person she knew well enough was you. there in her mens pyjama pants and an over-sized shirt that read ‘RIP Princess Diana’ with a photo of owen wilson on it, her computer warmed her lap and made a soft whirling sound the in the background.
“hi y/n.” spencer waved, he felt bad about last night. you were barely walking straight when you left and he could tell you wouldn’t get out of your ‘work clothes’ (whatever you wanted to wear with a vest over it) before falling onto your mattress, and he drove away. he didn’t even offer to take and walk you home, let alone give you a ride. but his hands were sweating and his heart thumping in his ears, and he couldn’t think straight.
“oh, hi spencer.” you turned from your own textbook splayed on the counter beside you to see spencer and his tall self. a bag of apples, a 2 minute bolognese container, and a bag of coffee. you scan them, weigh the apples, and watch him.
he wasn’t meeting you eyes. you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before telling him his total with a sniffle.
“i’m sorry for not driving you home,” he lifted his head, a piece of chocolate brown hair crossing his left eye, “or walking you home. or making sure you made it home safe.”
you widened your eyes slightly and sat still before spencer cleared his throat and continued, “i was nervous, about being around you. and my friends- my colleagues- told me i need to be more confident around you so.”
logan had stopped writing, glancing through her bangs up at you both. your mouth was slightly agape before you realised how stupid you looked and how awkward you were making it.
“oh- no it’s okay spencer, you don’t have to say sorry. i was- i’m fine. um,” you tilt your head with the corner of your lips quirking up with little resistance, “you talk about me to your friends?”
spencer nodded, put his hands in his pockets and thought for a second. he wished there was a better place to do this, a better person to take over for him.
all you have to do is talk.
spencer is great at talking.
“did you know that you could be scrolling for seven weeks before you can reach the end of ‘how to ask a girl out’ results on google? i was scrolling for a long time but then my friends told me to just talk and be confident, but i’m only good at one of those thing. so i was trying to ask you out last night but then i- well i failed basically, it isn’t my strong suit,” he took a breath, “so basically i’m saying sorry for not asking you out and not driving you home.”
it was silent, even a customer stopped humming.
“and also your allergy medication isn’t strong enough for your symptoms.” he glanced down to a white and blue box by your hand. you looked down, seeing logan in the corner of your eyes, hand covering her face.
“spencer-“
“dude just ask her out.”
spencer’s face dropped, and he looked over the counter to find another woman sat down, a cringed out expression on her face. his nervousness increased after he realised this wasn’t as private a conversation as he thought. wiping his hand on his vest, he continue with a gulp,
“no i can’t. not here, um. i’ll see you on monday. and i promise i’ll uh- be better? i’ll try again, so. okay see you on monday.” he quickly took his groceries and walked off quite speedily. you watched him walk away and then once he was out of sight, you simply stared at the box of allergy medication on the counter.
logan groaned in the background and said something about growing balls, but it was tv silence for you.
you didn’t know how to go out with someone, your last relationship was in your first year of high school with a guy who thought baby’s came out of a woman’s bum. not that spencer meant he wanted a relationship, no it could just be a friend ‘going out’. totally not romantic.
you slump and stuff your face in your hands. you didn’t care if you hadn’t dated for however long, he didn’t seem to be a man-whore at all. you just cared about how you were actually going to say yes to a man you’ve only talked to inside of an off-brand convenience store on the night shift.
you muffle a scream before the same silent customer placed a carton of milk on the counter.
“$2.50.” you grumble.
you carried logan’s computer bag as she took out a box of strawberry pocky on the sidewalk. the store was locked, the air was crisp, the light was flickering. you didn’t say much until logan couldn’t stand it anymore.
“you know when you’re this silent it’s actually pretty nice, i like peaceful walks home.” you nodded, and continued your racing thoughts with your line of vision stuck on the concrete as you both walked the block to your apartments. she sighed, “but it’s odd. you love talking. a guy likes you and you go mute?”
“his name is spencer, he does something dangerous for a living, he likes old books and drinks a lot of coffee. he gets home late at night, looks skinny but can lift a box of flour above his head with ease. he’s insanely smart and reads poetry, and helped me with my stem cell report.”
you look over at logan who looks a little disgusted but mainly confused.
“he helped me lift that box of flour without me asking. i have no idea who william blake is. i have no idea how he managed to put poetry in a biology report, and i have no idea how he can admit he’s going to ask me out and then not ask me out. his favourite colour is purple, his favourite fruit is grapes but he buys apples because they’re cheaper. and his name is… spencer.”
logan stopped in her tracks, making you copy. you flung out of whatever trance you were stuck in and raised an eyebrow at logan, “what?”
“what? oh no i don’t know, maybe you’ve just never told me about a man you happen to know a lot about, and yet don’t know anything about. you sound insane- not in the ‘loony-bin way’, in the romcom way. it’s disgusting.”
you both continued to walk, climbing the stairs to the foyer of your building before she took back her bag and gave you the pocky, mumbling, “you need these more than me.”
the elevator ride was mostly silent, and that continued before you both unlocked your apartment doors right beside each other.
“you need to ask him out, if he doesn’t do it first.” she entered her apartment before you could speak, let alone think.
suddenly your apartment felt lonely.
so did spencer’s.
he was cross legged on his plush couch on a call with penelope garcia, she was squealing every second minute trying to create a plan for spencer to ask someone out.
“spence, you’re making this very hard. how am i supposed to be your coach if i only have half a team?”
“you can find someone’s address with half a fingerprint, i think you’ll be fine.” he takes a bite of his 2 minute bolognese.
“that takes the fun out of it. i can only give you tips if i know her personality.”
spencer sighed, and thought for a second, he could practically hear penelope’s growing smile knowing she had won.
“her names y/n.” garcia squealed. “she’s smart and pretty. and her favourite colour’s purple and she studies biology. she knows my groceries off my heart and she’s allergic to pollen. she works late at night at the convenience store two blocks away from my apartment building, and she likes old book stores. she’ll be introverted around an extroverted person, but extroverted around an introverted person. she can read my expressions faster than anyone else, she tries out different hairstyles when nobody’s in the store, and she’s funny.” spencer smiles to himself, “she’s pretty.”
“you mentioned that, lover boy.”
pt.4
taglist: @jeffswh0re @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @trashmonstersara @wannabewolf @evysian @navs-bhat @mywellspringoflife @daphnesutton @smalls155 @amortencjja @anuncalledbridge @belsreid @redmurderbaby @tatilolz @criminalmindsandhouse @forensicuntology @nomajdetective @ilikw @screechingphantommaker
#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#cm#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid series
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After Office Hours
Pairing: Professor! Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Reader goes to her favorite professor hoping to find ways to improve her grade. He has some unconventional extra credit opportunities in mind...
WC: 1.3k
Warning: Student/teacher relationship, slight sub/dom dynamics, semi public sex, thigh riding, use of y/n, use of “baby’ and “little girl” plz let me know if i’m missing any!
You’re running down the hallway of the law building at your university silently begging that your professor is still there. As you approach the door, he’s exiting, keys in hand. “Wait, Professor Reid! I’m here! Don’t go!” You call out to him closing the last yards of space between you. “Miss y/l/n you’re late, office hours are over.” “No Dr. Reid you don’t understand! My statistics professor wouldn’t let us leave until we finished the lesson on probability distributions! I told him I had office hours to get to and he didn’t care. Please Dr. Reid I really need to talk to you about my grade!” He puts his hands in his pockets and sighs while gears are turning in his head. “Fine, for you I’ll make an exception.” “Thank you thank you.” You try not to read too much into his comment as he opens the door, “after you.” You don’t notice that he locks the door after following you in.
As he sits across from you at the desk, you pull out your physical midterm paper all marked up in red ink. “I thought I grasped this concept so well! I don’t understand how I got a C-.” “Y/N, you got a stressor and trigger backward. You failed to accurately explain the concept. The points you did get were from the passion in your writing. I appreciated the way you wrote, but I couldn’t give you a higher grade. I’m sorry.”
“Professor, I have a 3.5 GPA and I can’t have that drop, especially not from my favorite class!” He clasps his hands under his chin with his elbows below him. “Miss y/l/n, it seems you have been struggling in this class for a while now. I see how hard you work but you have narrowly maintained a B-. If this is your favorite class, why didn’t you come to office hours sooner?” “I-” Your mind is moving too fast to form an answer. You look down at the ground and can’t help but press your thighs together. You’ve only had a few moments in such close proximity to Professor Reid before, and definitely not alone. His eyes seem to darken, “Do I make you nervous?” You just press your legs further together “Umm..” “Come here.” He says in a soft yet demanding tone while scooting his chair back. When you walk over to him he gestures towards his lap. “Sit.” You comply. You put your right hand on his shoulder as his left-hand reaches around you and grips your side. He can probably hear your heart beating out of your chest.
“You know how I knew you wanted this? When I guest lectured in your physics class you were wearing sweatpants. Out of anything you could have worn, sweatpants. You tried to hide it, but I saw your eyes widen when you saw me. You never dared to be caught dead in front of me clad from one of your tiny little skirts you love wearing to my class.” He takes the hand not at your side and squeezes above your knee. “Do you wear those skirts just for me? Tell me the truth.” You turn to him but avoid eye contact. In the quietest voice you say “Yes, just for you professor.” Knowing you were coming straight to his office hours after stats, you wore one of your shortest skirts and knee-high black boots. You hoped being alone in office hours on a dark fall night he wouldn’t be able to resist you. It was worth a shot, anyway. He smirks and before he has a chance to reply you say, “Now back to my grade, is there anything I can do to improve the grade I got on my midterm? Can I resubmit it with your notes taken into account?” “I’m sorry miss y/l/n but there's nothing I can do. The university policy states that once midterm grades are locked, any work done before can not be revised. My apologies.”
“Is there anything I can do? Any extra credit opportunities this term? I can help you grade papers or clean your classroom! Please I’ll do anything! I need to improve my grade, please!” He just stares at you while you beg. “Anything?” He says with a devilish smirk. “Yes sir.” You say back to him, smiling and batting your eyelashes. He takes a deep breath with his eyes closed and once he opens them he locks eyes with you and says, “Ride my thigh.” “Excuse me, Doctor?” His dick jumps at the honorific. “You said you’d do anything to improve your grade. I know you heard me, ride my thigh.” You cannot believe Dr. Reid just asked you for this. Since the first day of class, he has been the sole object of your fantasies. You’ve fallen asleep many nights imagining him bending you over his desk and fucking you until you scream.
Without a second thought, you stand up to resituate yourself on his lap, straddling his left thigh. The moment you stand up he reaches for your wrist, “What are you doing?” You smile on the inside, those four simple words have shown you he wants this as badly as you do. “Don’t worry professor, I’m just turning around, I need something to grab onto.” You say as you sink down onto him. You put both hands on either side of his shoulders and begin to rock back and forth finding your rhythm. The roughness of his khakis against your ass and your thong pushed against your clit has you stifling your moans quickly. He grabs your chin to make you look at him, “I want to hear you, baby.” You let the moans leave your lips, still mindful of volume. He puts one hand on the small of your back and the other on your hip, gently guiding you. When he touches you, you are on cloud nine. Here you are, in your professor's office after hours riding his thigh as he speaks sweet praises to you. You swear you’ve died and gone to heaven. “That’s it baby keep going.” You are eyeing the member in his pants start to grow. Every time he speaks you get closer and closer to the edge. He can tell by the way you’re speeding up. “Come for me little girl, I want to hear how good you’re feeling.” The use of little girl sends you over the edge.
Tightly gripping his shoulders as you ride out the rest of your orgasm, leaving dents in his shoulders through his dress shirt. Once you’re done cumming, you collapse onto his chest breathing heavily. Staring down at his lap you see his dick straining against his pants, and he’s huge. He gently rubs your back as you come down from your high. He kisses your head and lifts you by your shoulders facing him. You’re staring deep into his eyes. “You did so good for me, but it's getting late, you should get home.” “Right right, sorry. I’ll head out now.” As you stand up and adjust your skirt you notice the wet spot you left on his pants.
He sees you staring and interrupts your thoughts, “Don’t worry about it. Can I plan to see you next week at office hours?” “Yes!” You say a little too enthusiastically. “Um I mean yeah, I’ll be here.” You say in a chiller tone. “Good, I have more extra credit opportunities in mind, I hope to see you in class on Monday. Next week, come to office hours once they're done, okay? Don’t show up before 7.” “Yes Dr. Reid, I look forward to improving my grade however you see fit.” You say with a wink heading towards the door. When you go to turn the knob it's locked. You unlock it and glance back at him. He’s still staring at you with a hungry look in his eyes. You have the biggest smile on your face walking back towards your dorm, next week's office hours can’t come soon enough.
a/n: this is the first fic I’ve written in about 10 years! Should I turn this into a mini series? I have more ideas for how this story could go! Any feedback is greatly appreciated <3
#softdom!spencer#professor!reid#professor!spencer reid#spencer reid#professor reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds fanfic#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid smut#soft dom spencer reid
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Damian and the female reader twins, what happens when there is a glitch in the dimensions, causing his twins to be replaced by a male version of himself, will they become even more chaotic? Or will Damian not accept him in the first place… Either way when he ventures between dimensions and finds his twin sister with his female version with long hair combing her hair for her, girls times.
NOT MY SIBLING….
DAMIAN AL GHUL-WAYNE X TWIN!FEM!READER
A/N: Damian wouldn’t accept him at first until a bonding moment happens. I feel like it would be the same chaotic twins doing crazy shit but still be like “I don’t want you. I want my sibling back.” From Damian.
Key: pink= fem!damian and fem!reader and blue=m!reader and Damian.
Summary: a glitch in universes and dimensions, rip you out of Damian’s hands. Only for him to get in return a different “you”. Working together, they find their own version of their siblings doing their own thing.
It happened right in front of his face, you two were on night patrol when a glitchy looking portal. Damian immediately pushed you behind him as the portal started getting bigger, and bigger when seconds went by. The twins eyes widened as the girl’s hair float by the air being sucked in the weird portal.
“Damian…” you whispered softly, scared as Damian started to move back with you closely behind him. “Go. Go, go, go!” He yelled as you two sprinted off of the rooftop you both were certainly on. As Damian grapple hook to another rooftop, you tried to pull yours out as well. Sadly, you weren’t quick enough as Damian turned around quick to hear and see you scream. You screamed loudly as you get lifted up in the air.
“DAMIAN!!!” You yelled with tears in your eyes, Damian felt his heart clench seeing the situation.
“NOOOO!” He yelled with widen eyes, readying his grappling hook to shoot its line for your waist so he can pull you. Only for you to get immediately pulled in. Damian felt his heart drop. He felt his heart pounding loudly in his ears as he dropped to his knees. “No…no…NO!” He punched the ground, clenching his eyes tight. He laid on the ground, his mind spiraling at the loss of his other half. He didn’t know what he could or should tell his father at how he lost his sibling…and his daughter.
Time passed as Damian sat up grieving, that was before the same glitchy portal opened up. Damian stood up quickly, his heart racing as hope comes over him for his sister to come back in his arms. As Damian looked and waiting patiently. There “you” were, spitted out with a deep voice and…shorter hair? Damian narrowed his eyes as he goes to his so called twin that got spitted out the portal. As Damian walks up to the twin of his..he noticed how the uniform you wore was the same, except it was more masculine.
“Damn…..” the voice says, the voice that was certainly not Damian’s twin as Damian pulls out his katana. “Who are you.” He demanded, not even a question but demanded. “You” looked up confused as HE looked confused seeing a male version of his twin sister??
Now what is going on…..
Currently at this moment, you were dressed in one of Damian’s clothes. It felt weird being interrogated by the male counterparts of your family. You sat there as Damian glared at you as if you were the reason your female counterpart had been abducted by the strange portal. After the truth is revealed that you are from a different dimension where the gender roles are switched. Dick is the first one to welcome you with open arms, Tim questions you if he is still the same as a girl, Bruce doesn’t care much other wise finding his lost daughter, Jason..was about to shoot you but left. And Damian…he scoffed and walked away.
Leaving you down there as you wonder what your twin sister is doing…
It took the male counter of yourself to get use to Damian being an asshole to you. Damian would literally glare at you, not even calling you your name or his “sibling.” He would only say “I want my sibling back.” “You’re not my sibling.” But it was one night in the shared twins room when Damian was having a nightmare. Twisting and turning while the male counterpart of yourself awoke him. Checking up on him as he woke up startled. He clings to you, sobbing about how he’s “sorry for failing you.” “I’m sorry, please forgive me…” come back to me please…” It broke your heart as he you patted his back.
You knew he was just trying to get over the fact his own twin was lost somewhere in dimensions and universes. You knew he was pretending you were her as he clenches on your back.
After that, Damian was just a little bit better to you. Like for example,
He stopped and called you his “half-brother” since you are his original twin, just a male from another dimension
He stopped glaring and mostly just stared at you
….he just started to give you clothes he didn’t like.
Other than that, you two still did twin shenanigans just like you did with his female counterpart. You two were in the backyard sparring hand to hand combat. As you rushed at him, he swiftly moved and grabbed you by the back of your shirt. Slamming you down, breath taken from you. You grunted in defeat as Damian smiled.
“Even if you’re a male version of my sister. You fight and fall just like her.” He said, putting his hand out and helping you up. “Yeah..you fight just like my sister dude.”
And that’s when the glitchy portal that started this all appeared behind you, sucking you in quickly. Damian’s eyes widen, going after the male counterpart that screamed for help. The two male twins fall through colorful lights flashing by them. Damian grabbed you, pulling you to his chest to protect you. As the two males fall faster, they popped out of the portal into a pinkish room.
They groaned, getting off each other. Giggles were heard with a smell of blossoms and vanilla. Looking up, they found their versions of their sister. There you were, sitting in between damian’s female counterpart thighs. Brushing your hair as you turned around to see your beloved brother. His female version looked exactly like him, just more feminine and long black hair.
“DAMIAN!” You yelled with excitement as you were getting your hair brushed by his female counterpart. Damia (da-Mia)narrowed her eyes at Damian who did the same back. With a quick motion, Damian pulled you to his chest and damia did the same to your male counterpart.
“I see we have our OWN sibling back?��
“I agree, I don’t want any problems other than the fact that you should leave my dimension along with your beautiful sister.” Damia said with a smirk.
“Of course she’s beautiful, unlike your brother who needs a trimming on his unkept hair.”
“I can say the same for yours.”
“HEY!” The two Y/N’s say.
“Well, too bad your idiotic brother isn’t as smart as you think he is. Kinda pathetic for him to fall in a portal.”
Damia’s eyes widened, pushing your male counterpart part as she pulled a pink katana from her collection. With a warrior roar she goes to attack Damian. Damian pushed you behind him, ready to fight his female counterpart before the glitchy portal then sucks the two original twins. Setting them back to their own dimension.
You fell on Damian horizontally as damain landed vertically. Groaning, you soon smiled at Damian who immediately hugged you close to his chest. “I missed you my sister…. Welcome home.”
“Missed you too Dami!” You said hugging him back as Titus barked at the familiar scent of you. Barking with a smile as he leaped around the two twins.
#dc fluff#damian wayne x male reader#dc x male reader#damian al ghul x male reader#damian wayne#dc x reader#dc imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne x you#dc comics x reader#twin!reader#sibling!reader#al ghul!reader#platonic!damian wayne#wayne!reader#female!damian wayne#female!damian Al ghul#damian al ghul#Damian Wayne x female reader#damain wayne#batfam x batsis#batbro!reader#batfam x batbro#batsis!reader#dc robin#dc#dc universe#dcu#dc comics x male reader#dc comics
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What if Simon didn’t listen when Price told him to apologize to his girl before she does go off and find herself a better man? - part two
a/n: I know John isn’t American but I kept picturing him as Joe from SIX and honety Gibs from NCIS and I couldn’t stop myself. I sincerely apologize that this John is American-grumpy-hot-military-older man coded (not really). Also I know it took a month and I’m so sorry 🙈 I got so busy at work but it’s here! Enjoy!!
Warnings: smutty smut smut, phone sex
non-mcu masterlist
part one
Taglist: @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @calicocat45 @whos-fran @vonev @yyiikes
The situation at hand is tricky to say the least. Waiting around and trying to be careful of everyone’s feelings will push you away. On the other hand, he’s wanted to show you the love that you deserve and now is his chance.
Fuck Simon.
Fuck him for treating you like a safety net and like you’re replaceable. Fuck him for letting you shoulder the burden of your relationship and expecting you to always be at his beck and call. Fuck him for lying to you instead of having the balls to just be honest about why he wanted to break up. Fuck Simon Riley for saying that you could find a better man and expecting you to not listen to him for once.
“I want a lot of things,” he starts and takes a moment to choose his words, “I might be a gentleman but I’m a selfish man. I won’t take what’s not offered but you’d be hell bent to find me sharing my life with others. If you say that it’s over and mean it, well then love, I’ll be the most selfish man you’ve ever met when it comes to you. Im not some young lad anymore; I’m settled in my life and now that things are stable I want someone to share it with. I’ll follow your lead when it comes to how we share it but just know that I don’t want something casual or even friendship.”
You’re still resting your chin on his shoulder, listening to his every word as hope begins to fill your eyes. It’s the last sentence he whispers as he gazes down at you that causes your breath to hitch;
“I’ll love you until my lungs give out.”
And this man Delivers. The capital d is not a typo. John Price understands that you’re an independent person and he respects that. That’s not to say that he doesn’t spoil the absolute shit out of you and ensures that you are happy in every facet of your life imaginable.
The dogs are being wild today and overwhelming you? As soon as he gets home, he’s taking them out on a walk and giving you instructions to go have yourself a nice hot bath. Dinner is already taken care of so no need to worry about that. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the quiet.
He’s been on deployment for a couple weeks and the loneliness is starting to creep in? You will be getting at least two check in texts a day and a call or FaceTime if he can before you go to bed. You should also expect some sort of care package to be on your doorstep weekly. This could be anything from flowers to your whole ass Amazon cart, all you need to do is say you miss him and he’s got you covered.
Things have been a little tense between the two of you? Well get ready because you’re going to be doing a check in that night where the two of you talk about whatever is going on. If it’s something small like you’re both stressed from work and a weekend getaway is needed, he’s already got that planned. If it’s something that needs more work, he’s ready to dive right into it and figure it out.
Still true to his internal word, nothing physical happens between you two at first. He wanted desperately to kiss you when he told you he would love you until his last breath but he didn’t. Disgusted by the enormity of his craving for you, John vowed to wait until you asked for his physical affection. Of course this meant he wouldn’t give into any of your advances until you told what you wanted.
After that night, you began the long and arduous process of breaking down John’s resolve. While it may have been unspoken, you knew what he wanted but you weren’t going to give into him so quickly. It started with closing the distance between you two. Instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch, you’d lay your feet in his lap or move just close enough to trail your fingers over the back of his hand. Only would you move to sit beside him if he slung his thick arm over the couch’s back and beckoned you closer. Then you would take every opportunity possible to cuddle into his side and slyly skirt your hands across the waistband of his sweats when you wrapped your arms around him. If you were in the kitchen together, you were always just out of his grasp. His fingers could grasp at the back of your shirt but never fully grab you. You’d swiftly slip around him if he moved behind you but not before brushing your hands over him in some way.
Eventually you grew bolder and began to shower with the door propped open. You’d said it was so the dogs could still see you but John isn’t stupid. He knew that you wanted him to catch a glimpse of your body through the foggy glass doors. But here’s the thing; he’s not Simon. Simon would’ve joined you and fucked you on that glass door like your life depended on it but not a captain price.
No no no. John Price is going to make you say those three little words, ‘I want you’, before he touches you even if it means leaving on for a mission without so much as a chaste peck on the lips. No amount of sly looks and sneaky touches is going to convince this man to give into you.
He starts beating you at your own game though. his bedroom door is suddenly always cracked open making it so that you can hear every rumbling moan and gasp of your name when he fists his cock at night. You no longer feel the waistband of his underwear when you wrap your arms around his am waist during your cuddles. Instead your fingers find the thick trail of hair that disappears under his sweatpants. Speaking of which, John knows about grey sweat pants and he exploits that turn on every chance he gets. Soon it goes from just wearing them low on his hips to forgoing boxers (as mentioned above) and sometimes he even ‘forgets’ his shirt. The memory of his thick bare chest on display alone is enough to make you clench your legs together.
When he finally does have to leave for work, he presses a light kiss to your temple and tells you to be careful. It goes without saying but John makes your promise anyways. Eases his old heart as he likes to say. If only he would go easy on yours…
Nearly every photo, FaceTime, what have you, this man is bare chested with lidded eyes and a knowing smirk on his face. He knows that you’re frustrated with the way things have played out; namely his departure with no memorable moments. He’s already become an expert in you, knowing what your body langue means, what your blushes mean, and most importantly, what your words truly mean.
Probably about a month in to this mission is when it comes to a climax. Your hands were doing nothing to ease the ache between your legs and your toys were making it worse. It was as if your body knew that it was you instead John rubbing small circles into your clit late at night. You’d tried nearly everything you could think of aside from finding someone in a pub and telling the older captain about your dilemma. While you two weren’t anything more than roommates with feelings at this point, it still felt wrong to find someone else to help you out. With only one person that your body wanted and nothing you could do about it, you settled for being sexually frustrated and irritable.
John is finally able to get some alone time to call you and actually talk to you. Settled into some poor excuse for a cot, he makes himself comfortable as he waits for you to pick up. It makes maybe a few rings before your tight voice comes through with a short ‘hello?’
He wants to chuckle and fails to suppress it, “Well hello to you too, love.”
Immediately you sigh when you recognize his voice, “oh John it’s you. How are you?”
“Been better. What’s been going on with you?”
You let out another deep sigh, pausing to answer as you contemplate what to tell him.
“What is it, love? Something bothering you?”
“I…I’m just….im just irritable,” you attempt to pass off as the full truth but John knows you better than that.
“Irritable you say?”
You can hear him shuffle around on his end and it causes your legs to cross to even think about him. God it’s beyond annoying to be this turned on over just hearing him move around, let alone hear his voice right now.
“I’d say a relaxing day is in order,” he teases with a low pitched sultry tone, “find some relief in a massage maybe.”
Relief.
The word feels hot as it washes over your brain and invokes images that would make a nun curse under her breath.
You snort at his suggestion. In that small noise, he finds all the answers he needed; you’re about to break and murmur those three sweet words.
“No appeal to that, love?” He asks and you can just hear the smirk he’s wearing. “A massage isn’t the relief you’re looking for though is it? You need a different type of relief, isn’t that right love?”
That bastard.
You hear him shuffle again and you swear to god you hear the sound of a belt coming undone.
“Talk to me. Tell me how I can help.”
If you weren’t needy before, you must certainly are now. You feel pathetic, a bitch in heat with the way your body starts to react to his simple words. Practically mumbling you attempt to tell him to fuck off but it doesn’t sting as much as you’d hoped. John laughs off your feeble attempt at hiding the true reason you’re in a mood.
Instead of adding flame to fire, he stays quiet.
It takes 40 agonizing seconds of silence for you to groan his name out of frustration. The captain only hums his acknowledgment that you spoke.
Phone sex isn’t new to you by any means however there’s something about this time that causes you to falter. There’s something about the way he initiated it but is allowing you to lead where it goes. There’s something about the way he knew what you needed within seconds. There’s something about the way your body seems to know that it craves his without ever touching.
“Yes,” you mumble while your cheeks burn and your body sings at the thought of getting what it truly desires.
John chuckles under his breath and the sardonic sounds causes your eyes to squeeze shut.
“Be a good girl for me and slip your hand into your panties.”
Your hearing dulls to a muffled tone as your hand follows his instructions. Barely does your ears register the sound of skin on skin, a slick hand taunting an impossibly hard cock. Your name comes out as a groan when you tell him to continue.
“Fuuckkk, love. Tell me are ya wet?”
“S…soaked.” You sigh as you roll your clit with your fingertips.
He lets out a string of curses as his hips buck up into his hand and his cock throbs from his slow pace.
“I want you to keep rubbing your clit and fuck yourself with your fingers,” the captain orders you, “and dont try to hide any of those pretty sounds.”
You mumble a weak ‘okay’ as you work your clit in small circles, feeling yourself become even more wet.
Strings of curses fall from his lips as he listens to your desperate cries of pleasure. The sounds of his thrusts get louder and louder in time when you bury two fingers in and become to fuck yourself like he told you to. It feels better than all of your other attempts but it’s not enough.
Nothing will be enough until you can feel John’s cock deep inside of you. Until you can feel his hips rut against yours and his hoarse moans in your ear. Until you feel the burn that his facial hair will give you when he eats you out like a starved and neglected dog. Until you feel his warm speed leak from you after he’s worked you through several of your own orgasms.
The thoughts of what is to come push you over the edge and you moan out his name in an absolutely pornographic manner. It stirs something disgustingly powerful and sinful deep in his gut when he hears it. He can only imagine the beautiful display of pleasure and bliss that you’ve come as you lay panting post orgasm.
You can only imagine how stunning he looks with his sweats pulled down to his mid thigh, his bare chest rapidly rising and falling while his stomach is painted with his own cum.
“John?” You whisper after your breathing has returned to normal(ish). “When are you coming home?”
His lips turn up in a smirk at your word choice, “missing me more than you let on, now are ya love?”
“Yeah it’s lonely without you here. you can’t leave on another deployment like this without fucking me before.”
“I promise it won’t happen again, my love.”
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TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS
(I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness and I have to sit down for a while– the feeling that I'm losing her forever.)
The rundown: That cake scene with Miles at his father’s bodega party but it’s with Miguel and his universe’s daughter. He’s late and it’s your quinceañera. Content: Father!Miguel O'hara x Daughter!Reader / Angst! (wc: 3844)
There was something oddly peculiar about your father. People would assume that he would be the archetypal absent one who chose to abandon his child; the dead-beat-dad who ultimately never cared for them. You’d argue it wasn’t true– you were fed, you had the weight of what a fifteen year old should have, and education was proper.
You love your papa with all of your heart, but there was no denying the fact that he would never be around often enough. You understood this when you were eight years old, and mornings would bring only a cold breakfast accompanied by a hastily scribbled note from him. He’d leave early– far too early. You tried staying up in an attempt to tell when he gets up and leaves the house, but you swear you don’t hear the door open every time.
Then came twelve and the missed events. Miguel seemed to be missing in action when it came to certain school activities, not showing up for things that he had previously made commitments for. It became more and more frequent as you grew older– you wouldn’t hear from him for days.
He was a man dedicated to his profession, and although you felt pride in what he had achieved, there was this empty space in your heart that hadn’t been filled ever since you were eight. It was said that a child needed the presence of their parents to feel security– to feel important. You never truly understood it, not until you had to endure many nights at dinner alone and the numerous times you spent walking home with nothing but your own thoughts for company.
You had always pondered over the question of whether it was a common phenomenon that fathers seemed to love their daughters less once they had reached teenagehood– or if it was possible for fathers to unlearn being fathers.
“Is your papa coming, bebita?”
The faint notes of classical music filled the air as you sat on the wooden floor, stretching your sore limbs. You observed the ladies who were much older than yourself starting their exercise routines, having come in early before the group class began. You waited for Miguel to pick you up.
– But that had been two hours ago. Your teacher finally worked up the courage to approach you, hesitantly looking for the right words to say. She wasn’t exactly pleased to be the one to let you down, but she’d seen you walk out the studio’s door alone time and time again after you told her that your father would bring you home himself.
“He said he’d come pick me up today.” You spoke, nervously twisting the ends of your skirt. Your teacher had most likely heard these words countless times before from you, but the faint ray of hope in your voice remained firm. “He promised.” You added quietly, praying that maybe it would be different this time.
“Ay, bebita– you know how this ends. You tell me those exact words and you walk out here on your own anyway.” She slightly shook her head, her face softening with a sympathetic smile as she knelt closer to you. “Tell you what, how about I offer to give you a ride home today? I have plenty of snacks in my car that you can enjoy. You can take as many of them as you'd like.”
You took some time to consider it, letting her gently weave her fingers through the strands of curls that couldn't quite fit into a bun. Your lips pursued as you sighed softly, “What if he comes and I’m not here anymore?” You’d hate to miss the opportunity.
Of course you still had faith that he would come, having endured all the other times he had let you down. You were never one to quickly give up on people and your father was the only one you trusted the most— you’d hate to admit that his inconsistency was starting to hurt; digging a deeper wound to the already bleeding cut.
“He’s not coming and I know you know that too.”
She stands up, grunting slightly as she hefts herself up. You knew there was no more room for negotiation anymore when she urged you to come along. She carefully takes your backpack from off your back and drapes it over her own shoulders, “Come on sweetheart, let's get you home.”
The silence in the car was palpable, with no one feeling the need to prod conversation. You hadn't stopped fidgeting with the hem of your bag since you got in, and you could feel your teacher's worried glances burning into you. Your mind was a jumble of emotions that kept bubbling away as they all competed for your attention. What could be his reason this time/?
She switched on the radio in an effort to lighten the tense mood, but when a melancholic tune filled played instead, you couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh.
“Is it possible for fathers to unlove their daughters?”
It was a question that took her completely by surprise, so much so that another uncomfortable beat of silence passed before she could respond. The stillness made you regret asking in the first place. Your legs shifted nervously, an unconscious habit which you had never noticed before.
“Of course not,” She muttered, almost inaudibly. “Fathers tend to forget is all.”
But you knew that wasn’t the case.
While Miguel was never home, something else resided on the corners of your house– someone you have never met at all. She smiled back at you from the frame sitting atop your dad's nightstand, wearing the similar blue soccer jersey your school had. She was the picture on his wallet and the little widget on his phone. It was beyond you– the few blue ribbons hidden on the box beneath his bed; the medals, the drawings you know you’ve never drawn or given him. For all you know, the kid didn’t even go to your school.
It wasn’t anything sinister, but in a way she felt like a ghost. A child your father mourned for all his life and you had no idea why.
This was a physical pain in your chest; one that was peeling away the very layers of your heart until it was nothing but ugly– just how could Miguel love a child more than his own? It was ridiculous to feel like you were in competition with someone you barely knew, yet somehow, you felt like you were losing. It felt even more absurd when you considered the possibility that maybe you weren't really his child at all.
“I joined our school’s soccer team today, papa.”
It wasn’t an ordinary occurrence for Miguel to be at the dining table for lunch. But on this Saturday noon, he was there. Sitting across from you, quietly eating his food. Finally, he paused and shifted his gaze towards you, seeming to linger on you longer than normal before looking away, cracking a grin.
“Soccer? You hate sports, mija.” He says, a bit of laughter in his voice. "What made you decide to try out? I don't recall you being the least bit interested before."
Something in his eyes becomes brighter, a sense of familiarity as he eagerly awaits your response– and the thing is, you couldn’t tell him why. Not without addressing the elephant in the room. Maybe you’d hang my medals too? Maybe you’d frame a photo of me? You know well your question reminds him of someone else.
“No reason.”
It was no surprise that you were terrible at it. After barely two seasons, you'd already given up. However it was surprising to see Miguel in the stands during the times that you had a game, but there wasn’t much to watch anyway— not when you’d been relegated to the bench for most of the time. All you felt was shame.
Oddly enough, he didn't question it. He remained silent during the rides back home, his gaze distant and never once looked at you. Had you embarrassed him to an extent where he couldn’t even acknowledge you? Or have you given him the impression that you were just no better than the little girl in his pictures?
You dared not to talk about it too.
Music was your passion; the pulse, the poise and elegance of it all resonating with you deeply. Ballet was something that spoke to you particularly in ways no other art form could. You found a special joy out on stage, a feeling that grew deeper and greater each time you danced.
But like every flame that you desperately try to keep alive, Miguel had a way of snuffing it out.
You remember it all so vividly, even though you'd much rather the memory be nothing more than a faint blur. Your very first recital and yet he wasn't anywhere to be found amongst the audience.
Your focus was a tunnel-vision, only set to finding even a glimpse of him— you had been so determined to find him that you forgot about all of your own movements. Soon, the few wrong turns had turned to missed cues; as soon as the music stopped, you made a run for it.
Your teacher had done her best to console you that day, attempting to coax a smile from you in front of the vanity mirror with its bright lights. She had wrapped her arms around you, doing anything she could to draw even the faintest curve of your lips. But you stayed slumped on your seat, feeling the weight of the unshed tears on your eyes.
The door swung open, finally revealing Miguel; he was out of breath and sweat glistened on his forehead. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top and his tie was undone, a clear sign that he had run all the way here. He paused for a moment to catch his breath before walking in frantically, eyes looking for you.
His eyes softened at the sight of you in your pretty pink tutu– then the tenderness was replaced with a feeling akin to plummeting one hundred stories down. How could he miss this? How could he let his sweet girl wait? He rushed to your side, sinking down into a kneeling position. He looked upon you with lines creasing his forehead and you already knew what was to come out of his lips.
“I’m sorry muneca, I came as fast as I could.”
The other parents of your classmates started to barge inside the very room, their children giddy with joy and excitement, running to them with beaming smiles. You could hear their loud congratulations– voices singing sweet praises and telling how they looked outstanding on stage. The noise sounded like static in your ears, like their words were unfamiliar to you. They received bouquets of flowers, sweets– gifts for a job well done. Miguel came late and only with apologies.
“You want pretty flowers too, mijita? We can stop by the flower shop a few blocks away from here, you can pick any bouquet you want.” His lips curved into a gentle smile, desperate to make his daughter feel better– the same daughter who wouldn't even meet his gaze. “Papa had to deal with something. I’ll be sure to go to your next recital– pinky promise.”
“But I worked really hard for this.”
You wanted so desperately to blame him; to yell at him for every mistake that you've made on the stage. You felt ashamed, humiliated, and helpless all at once- and still, you couldn’t have the heart to be mad at him.
He looked at you apologetically, "Baby, I'm sorry I couldn't make it earlier. How about we talk about the flowers you want to buy instead? There are lots of restaurants nearby as well— you can pick whatever pleases you, just name it." He paused for a moment before continuing, gently nudging your shoulder. “I know how much this meant to you.”
If he did, why couldn’t he have come at all?
You let out a deep sigh, feeling completely ridiculous in your tutu. All of the sudden, the leotard appeared to be two sizes too small and utterly irritating; your tights seemed unbearably itchy. You looked down helplessly, wanting nothing more than to leave this situation behind. “I just want to go home. Can we just leave? Please?” You pleaded softly.
He bit the inside of his cheek, a gesture that conveyed own sinking heart in a way words could not. His shoulders sagged ever so slightly, breath hitching as he gave in to your request instead.
“Of course.”
After that very moment, you'd vowed to yourself never to wait in anticipation of something that may or may not come. You wouldn’t put your faith in any more of your father's promises spoken under the dead of night. It took a toll on you– your naivety had taught you better than before.
But when your fifteenth birthday drew near, you never expected he would go so far.
The locks clicked and whirred as Miguel fumbled with the keys to the front door. You could hear your Father's voice, clearly agitated as he jostled the keys back and forth in an attempt to fit them into the lock. Finally, he steps inside, eyes immediately darting to you.
“You’re not wearing your birthday dress, sweetie. Is something wrong?” He’s wearing a smile, struggling to keep the two boxes of cake upright as he locks the door from behind. The banner is lopsided and the balloons scattered all around seem small– like they’ve been there for days and were starting to deflate themselves. He kisses the top of your head once he gets close, getting a better view of what you were working on on the counter. Homework. “Did you have your friends over today? How was it? Wanna hear all about it.”
And he must have forgotten. You decided to pretend not to hear his question, continuing to jot down notes, only humming at his presence. He settles the boxes down, sitting on the stool beside you.
“I know papa’s late, but you can still go and wear your dress. I want to take pictures– should we order pizza? Do you want something else?” He’s rambling, hurriedly searching for his tone to dial down a few numbers. Miguel turns frantic, looking at the closed signs under every nice restaurant. “Pizza should be fine, mijita– you’ve eaten dinner, right?”
“Not hungry.”
Miguel chuckled, dialing anyway. “Did school suck today, sweetie?” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “You know what can cheer you up? Cake. You love cake.”
“I don’t like cake anymore.” You say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can feel frustration boiling over inside– and you fear it wasn’t the kind you’ve grown accustomed to suppressing. He was oblivious and it was killing you, hurting you in so many ways possible. “I’m not hungry.” You repeat again.
“Don’t be like that, __. Besides, it’s still tradition.” He stands up to check the drawers, only finding worn out candles from past birthdays. He takes a lighter. “Know what’s better than a cake? Two cakes! You’ll change your mind, go and open the boxes mija,”
Miguel excitedly pressed his hands on your shoulders, pushing you gently forward to open the two boxes of cake. The look in his eyes was that of pure anticipation as he waited eagerly for you to do so. It almost hurt you to tell him the news— that you wanted more than to just take the blame itself. It was conflicting.
You finally got up from the bar stool, settling on your feet in front of the counter. Taking a deep breath, you carefully opened the lid of the boxes. What greeted you had made you visibly recoil– the small flicker of hope that settled in your chest gone as quickly as it came. The cakes were crumbled and the frosting was all over the box, like it had been trampled and tossed around.
Was this all a joke? Were you a joke to him? Your shoulders trembled as you couldn't bring yourself to look away from it; the letter was still visible but amongst the cake crumbs lay written a name– Gabriella. Not happy birthday to you, but Gabi.
You didn’t know what hurt most. Your lips quivered and all you could mutter was, “Gabi?”
His eyes widened in surprise as he quickly moved to your side to take a look at the cake himself. He swiftly closed the lids, shaking his head. “Must’ve been a mistake back at the bakery. I can–”
And you could barely catch your breath, not when the hurt piled over one another.
“Are the medals from her? The one’s from your bed? The trophies?”
He furrowed his eyebrows, clearly irritated. “What did I tell you about snooping around my things, __?”
“Is this the girl–” A ragged inhale cuts your thoughts, “on your nightstand and wallet?” You didn’t even realize you had started to cry, but when another breath had caught itself in your throat, you were inconsolable– finally letting the dam break all at once.
Miguel did nothing to console you– he didn’t know how to. He knew he had messed up royally and all he could do was helplessly watch you break down. Who knows how long you’ve kept this?
“__, come on. It’s just a simple mistake, it’s still cake–”
“And it was my birthday!”
“Baby, what’s the big deal?” He was shocked and understandably so. His sweet, babygirl, who was usually so quiet and docile, was talking back angrily to him– but Miguel knew better than to point fingers. This was his fault– your unbecoming was his own doing.
“You just had to be late– on my birthday!”
“I have work, baby, you know this.”
“That still doesn’t explain anything!” You cried out, desperation flooding your voice. “Why are you never home? Where do you go? Who is Gabriella– why do you love her more than me?” You could feel your breath catch in your throat as your voice rose and trembled with every question. Your breathing grew unsteady and your throat began to close up, not allowing anymore words to come out as much as you wanted to scream. You feared there’d be no more room for air.
And there was something about Gabriella that everytime she was brought up, Miguel would be defensive. Perhaps it was the plenty of times Lyla would reprimand him when she catches him watching the few videos of them or when Jess would pity his state. “Don’t be ridiculous, __. I made a mistake– that’s it. We don’t have to fight.” He says, grabbing a spatula. “If it bothers you so much, here,”
Miguel frustratedly spreads the lettering with the spatula, leaving smudges of red on top of perfectly white frosting, resulting in a more muddled mess. He's making a complete mess of it and you can't bear to watch any longer. Your still figure finally reaches out to grab his wrist, “Stop— stop that! What are you doing?!”
It was no use. The cake was nothing but totally ruined now. You didn’t even have the chance to read the message. He forcefully digs the candles on both, sliding it in front of you. Your eyes stayed on the cake– you didn’t have the heart to look at him. Anger boiled up within you and without a moment's hesitation, the words leaped from your mouth, "You're not listening to me! This is not what I'm so upset about—!"
But he responds in the same loudness as yours, slamming his hands down on the cold tiles of your countertop. “Okay, champ, you got it– go for it! Say what you have to say,” A sarcastic chuckle left his lips, adding insult to the already deep wound. “What do you have to tell me so bad?”
And you didn’t think it was possible for silence to be more deafening, but as you stared each other down, all you could think of was how maybe Miguel was worse than the archetypal absent one who chose to abandon his child or the dead-beat-dad who ultimately never cared for them.
You were right. Fathers were capable of unloving their daughters and the way his dark eyes burned into yours was all the answer you needed. This wasn’t your papa– did you ever know him?
“My birthday was two days ago.”
He furrowed his eyebrows, doubt creasing his forehead as he looked back to the calendar hung on the fridge. His gaze resting on your birthday date, the red circle mocking him in vivid reminder— two days ago. Your birthday was two days ago. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and he felt nothing but guilt tying his stomach in knots.
“Mijita–” He’s quick to console you, the anger in his words disappearing immediately and turning into an apologetic one– but every time he’d try to move forward, you’d only step back. Miguel couldn’t even bear to think how you’ve celebrated on your own. How you waited for him all night in your birthday dress. He subtly shook his head, trying his best not to clog his mind yet.
He needed to make it up to you. He couldn’t lose you too.
“My birthday– why did you have to take it?” You rubbed your eyes harshly, but the more you wiped the tears away, the more they seemed to fall. “It’s mine and I still had to wait for you to be able to sing the song. It’s my day and all I could think of was what time you might come home tonight.”
You wanted nothing more than for him to run to you with open arms, to let you cry on his shoulders– but as his silence stretched on, you mistook it as nothing but ruthless. He simply didn’t care. Miguel was too much of a wall for that.
The look you gave him was nothing but hate– a look no parent wants to ever come across and it almost makes him stagger back. It was like what he had done was the most disgusting– most inconsolable act ever beyond repair and all he could do was watch; watch as another daughter of his slip through his fingers. He’s holding you like water and he doesn’t know how to keep you in.
You scoffed, averting your gaze. “You don’t want to talk about it? Fine by me.” You turned your back, letting out another shaky exhale. You couldn’t look at him the same– not after this.
“You make it really, really, hard to feel like a daughter.”
And with that, you run to your room, leaving Miguel to stay rooted to where he stood. He thinks to himself– had he taken that from you too?
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exhausted | barca femeni/alexia putellas x reader
reader has insomnia… but doesn’t tell her teammates alexia begins to figure it out though
was gonna make yall wait till tomorrow butttt i rlly can’t fucked lol
Sleep is something that has never come easy to you.
No matter how hard you try, no matter how much melatonin or herbal teas or meditation you tried, none of it worked.
You, quite simply, could not sleep.
It was fine when you were just a student, when you could dip out of your morning classes or sneak in a nap here and there between classes, when you didn’t have to make it through full days of work.
It was fine when you were playing for London City, when nobody cared about what you were doing, only if you could stop other players from getting past.
It had all changed though when the Barca offer had come in though.
It was known to every single footballer in the women's league that Barca had major injury problems, specifically in their backline, injuries that wouldn’t be resolved until long after the season was over.
You’d never thought though that some absences in Barcelona’s star squad would crate an opportunity for you, but for whatever reason, the Barca selectors had seen something in you, and even though it was mid season, had been desperate to sign you, it was a big move to go from England to Spain, but one you were more than happy to make for the sake of your career.
You’d never thought that the move from home would be so much more detrimental to your sleep schedule, but slowly you’d found yourself becoming more exhausted as you struggled to keep up with your new life.
There were a lot of things that were different about Spain, or more specifically the Barcelona Women’s team. When you were playing in London, training every couple of days and playing once a week, you could afford to miss some hours of sleep during the night, especially considering that nobody in London was concerned about making school a priority over there. You could take some naps during the day, laze around as much as you wanted and go to school whenever you could be bothered.
Barca was different, and not in a good way.
It was good for your football, internationally and just in general. Before Barca, you’d been more of a bench player then a starter for the England under 17s, but your game had lifted and you’d been a consistent starter in every tournament and friendly since.
You were exhausted, more than you’d ever been in your entire life, and you were sure it was starting to show.
It was hard enough being 16, in a foreign country, getting hardly any hours of sleep, training at least three hours a day as well as gym sessions and playing twice a week. Trying to be a full time student as well, it was completely unrealistic and it was starting to show.
“Nena, do you want to slow down on the energy drinks? Someone so itty bitty and young like you shouldn’t be consuming any caffeine, let alone two red bulls before noon, we’re lucky you aren’t pinging off the walls yet.”
Mapi’s hands are on your cheeks, pinching and squeezing them as if you are a baby. Instead of paying her any kind of attention you keep your eyes fixed on your laptop screen and lips pressed to the can of red bull that you’ve been tirelessly sipping at for the past couple of minutes.
Integrating into the team had been hard, but you’d actually become far closer with the crew of injured girls, mapi specifically, as well as her girlfriend Ingrid. Frido had also been one of the first people to welcome you, accompanied by two familiar English faces, Keira and Lucy.
Mapi particularly, had taken you under her wing, or had sort of adopted you in an older sister type fashion. It was sort of annoying, the older Spaniard was constantly talking, to the point where you’d learn to pretty much drown out everything that left her lips.
“If you keep touching my face then it won’t just be your knee that’ll be injured, your hands will be broken as well.”
Mapi frowns at you, her pinching fingers moving to brush loose hair from your face and rub at your temples, trying to rub away the frown lines deeply ingrained on your forehead.
“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning did we, nena? You know you’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that, it’s not good for your little baby face.”
You shake your head in an attempt to get Mapi’s hands off of your face, it partially works, but not fully.
“María I am serious, you’ve got three seconds before I tear this can in half and use it to cut off your fingers, don’t you have rehab to do or something more entertaining than bothering me?”
Mapi’s hands fly up in surrender, something you are infinitely grateful for.
“Fine, you want to be grumpy then you can be grumpy by yourself, don’t come looking for me later when you’re bored of school and looking for some fun.”
You don’t bat an eyelid as Mapi retreats from your table.
You take another sip of your drink, praying that it’ll somehow make it easier for you to read the words on your laptop screen, even though it does absolutely nothing.
You’ve read the same page, over and over again and yet it’s done absolutely nothing to make you understand what it is you are supposed to be learning. It’s a mess of consonants and verbs, jumbled up words that just can’t seem to resonate in your brain.
Whilst Mapi has left, unbeknownst to you, you aren’t completely alone in the recovery room.
Alexia has been sitting on one of the massage tables, doing her exercises for the last hour, watching as you’ve gradually been getting far more frustrated with your work.
Alexia’s relationship with you so far has been… rocky.
The captain had made it clear from day one that whilst the club needed you, that your studies were going to be a priority alongside football. If you had known that you’d be going from doing as much school as you liked, to hours of online school everyday, you probably would have reconsidered your move to Spain, but you were here now and struggling more than you cared to admit.
Alexia knew something was up, beyond your clear hatred for school, she just wasn’t sure what yet but she was determined to find out why.
“Everything alright pequena?”
You practically jump at the sound of Alexia’s voice, hand clutching at your heart as you suddenly become aware of a presence in the room that you were unaware existed.
“Perfectly fine.”
You do well to recover from the shock, your eyes darting straight back to your screen almost as quickly as they had left it.
“You’ve been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes.”
Alexia notices that your hands are shaking slightly, most likely due to the insane amounts of taurine that your body is processing.
“There’s a lot of writing on one page.”
You take another sip, finishing off the can and sliding it across the table.
“Mapi’s right, it’s not good for pequena’s like you to be drinking stuff like that, it’s bad for your brain cells, and don’t get me started on what it does to your body.”
Alexia moves to take a seat beside you at the table, her concern for you growing even more when she took a look at your face and realised how exhausted you looked.
“I don’t need the lecture, I’m poisoning my body, I’m aware of it, now can I please have slime peace so I can finish this off before training starts?”
Alexia isn’t anywhere near satisfied with your answer, she wants you to argue with her, not admit your wrongdoing like it’s nothing.
“Yes, you are, you aren’t an adult, you don’t need energy drinks, you will do perfectly fine without them.”
Your eyes leave the screen to look at Alexia for a second, a little exhale huffing out between your lips.
“Okay, whatever.”
Alexia can’t get past just how tired you look, so tired that you’re seemingly agreeing with her just to avoid conflict.
“Pequena, how about you take a break for a couple of minutes, go get some fresh air, I’m sure you can finish this up later.”
Alexia’s never let you finish school early, you don’t understand why she’s deciding to today.
“I need to get it done.”
Your body is so tense, Alexia’s scared that you’re going to pull a muscle just from how tight your body looks.
“I’m sure it can wait till later, you’ve been sitting here for two hours now, you need a break.”
Your hands are still shaking, and you’re as hunched over as possible without being asleep on top of your laptop.
“Alexia, I’m fine, I’ve just got to finish this and then I’ll be done.”
Alexia’s hand reaches up to meet your shaking one, somehow hoping that it’ll stop the frantic tremors.
“You’re taking a break, just go and spend some time in the team room, or go for a walk, just take fifteen minutes and I’ll next you when you need to be back. Go, now, I’m not asking.”
You slam your laptop closed with more aggression then Alexia’s seen from you all morning, your body dragging itself out of the room without any regards for your captain whatsoever.
Alexia begins to get worried when twenty minutes later, after multiple text messages, you are yet to return.
She knows you’re stressed, that school isn’t what you want to be focusing all of your energy on. But Alexia knows from personal experience how easy it is for somebody of your age with your kind of talent to disregard things like education, something that she believes is so crucial to any adult's life. You need options, Alexia is trying to give you them, even if you seem to hate them with every single fibre in your body.
Alexia decides to go looking for you once twenty five minutes have passed and you are nowhere in sight and have ignored every single one of her messages.
It doesn’t take her long to find you, although she does almost miss you.
Alexia peeks her head into the locker room, simply to ask if anyone has seen you, the room is silent and empty though.
She almost leaves, but just as she’s about to close the door, she spots your body, tucked up inside of your locker, your head tucked into your knees.
You look frightfully unrestful, you don’t look like most people look when they’re sleeping, most people look peaceful, you look bothered, like your body is fighting against the sleep that you so clearly need.
Alexia walks over to you, now more than ever she’s certain you’re sick, that you’ve caught some kind of cold that’s causing this exhaustion and the short tempered mood you’ve been in.
She brings the back of her palm up to your forehead, an action that has your eyes snapping opening immediately.
Alexia’s sort of surprised when she realises you’ve got no fever whatsoever, although she’s well aware that not all sicknesses result in fever, something about it is putting her off.
“Hola pequenita.”
It takes you a few seconds to realise where you are and what’s happening, but as soon as you do you are shaking Alexia’s hand from your face and pushing yourself out of your cube.
“Sorry, time completely slipped past me, I’ll head back now.”
Alexia’s hand grabs your forehand before you have the opportunity to slip past her, tugging you backwards until you’re standing directly in front of your captain, forced to look at her.
“Are you sick?”
Alexia isn’t sure what’s wrong, but it’s clear something is up and sickness is the clearest option. She knows that you are no stranger to energy drinks, she spends most of her time heckling at you to try and put down whatever drink you’ve got in your hands. She’s never seen you down two in such a short amount of time though and sickness would be a good explanation.
“No, I’m fine.”
Alexia can’t find any deceit in your words or mannerisms, it appears that you are being completely honest with her, something that makes Alexia even more confused. None of the tell-tale signs are there, you are telling the truth.
“I know you aren’t a stranger to a midday nap, but it’s unlike you to be so tired.”
Alexia’s arm moves from your forearm up to your face, gently tracing the deep purple bags that are sitting below your eyes. Her thumb is soft, it feels like she’s mending all of the fatigue that lies there, but as soon as her thumb moves it all comes back.
“I’m fine Capí, just stayed up a little bit later last night.”
Alexia can tell that’s a lie, a cover up from whatever it is that you’re hiding from her.
“Well see to it that you get into bed earlier tonight. The team is out on the pitch, I told Jona that you’d join them once finished up with your work that you’d head out but I think you need some fresh air. Better get moving.”
Alexia’s voice is ridged and your body reacts to it, reaching into your locker with more speed then she’s seen you work with all day, you grab your cleats and before Alexia has the chance to speak anymore you are marching out of the rooms and out towards the pitch.
It’s perplexing to Alexia, she hates being lied to, especially when it’s clear something is wrong. She waits in the locker room for a few minutes, trying to piece together the mystery yet she comes up with nothing.
Eventually she makes the decision to go out and watch the training, pitchside, maybe you’ll have perked up now that you’re out doing something you enjoy.
The first thing Alexia notices is how frantically you are playing, it’s unlike you to be sloppy and yet as she watches you it’s all she can observe.
You are sloppy, messy and uncalculated, something that you are normally the opposite of.
You are a technical player, something that has helped you settle into the Barcelona squad with ease, you adjusted to the Spanish way of playing without much fuss.
What Alexia is watching though, you look like a completely different player. You’re practically passing the ball directly to Salma, goal after goal being put through your legs and around your body. It’s embarrassing, and she’s certain other people are picking up on your abnormal behaviour, multiple people, specifically Ingrid coming to check on you and make sure everything is fine.
You shake all of them off, even though it’s clear that something is up and whatever that something is, it’s big and it’s affecting your game and mood majorly.
Alexia’s not surprised when Jona drags you from the field, already yelling at you and sending orders your way, what she is surprised by is the way that you don’t even flinch as he throws never ending criticism your way.
You just stare at him, neither nodding or trying to reply to him, Alexia’s not even sure if you’re hearing him, if you’re present enough to be listening to the words that are leaving his mouth. For a second she considers the possibility that you’re violently hungover or acting under the influence of some kind of substance, it would explain the drowsiness and weird behaviour.
The idea makes Alexia instantly filled with anger, you are 16 and she will take you to the grave if you’ve been touching any kinds of substances. She’s mad enough as it is over the energy drinks, and she’s going to express that when the two of you are in private later on, but the chance that you’ve consumed something illegal for someone of your age, it sends shivers down her spine.
Jona has you back out on the field before you can even begin to respond to his critiques, back into defence where you are brutally humbled time and time again by the likes of Aitana, Salma and Caro.
Alexia cringes every single time, she knows that you are struggling, what she’s completely unprepared for is for you to fully collapse on the field.
Caro volleys another ball over your head and for a second Alexia doesn’t even notice you crumpled up on the ground of the pitch, she’s too busy watching the sight of Caro’s ball perfectly managing to slot in behind Cata. It’s a truly beautiful goal, and truly there isn’t much you could have done about it.
She only notices you when Cata doesn’t turn around to grab the ball, instead, she rushes forwards, leaving the ball long forgotten beside the bottom right post. She’s rushing forwards, down to her knees, directly beside your crumpled up body.
Alexia jumps up from her spot immediately, running faster than she should considering the current state of her knee, it doesn’t matter to her though, seeing your tiny little body all clumped up against the grass terrifies her.
Cata’s smart, and apparently fast acting because before Alexia is sitting down next to you, Cata’s already got her shirt off, drenched it with her drink bottle and has it folded up over your forehead. The cold water seems to bring you back a little bit, your head jerking upwards in reaction to the sudden change of temperature across your skin.
Just as Alexia’s crouching down next to you, the medics are pushing everyone out of the way, kneeling down next to you and doing the same as Cata had done, placing wet towels across your skin. They’re treating it like you’ve got heat stroke and whilst Alexia is aware it’s a warmer day, she knows that whatever is wrong with you, it most definitely isn’t heat stroke.
One of the medics squirts some water onto your face, something that Alexia doesn’t like the look of, but it seems to bring you back awake, your eyes bursting open and blinking furiously as you take in your surroundings.
Alexia can see you panicking immediately, your eyes flashing to the multiple faces that are crowding your vision.
“Everyone take a step back, give her some space.”
The medics and your teammates take a step back, leaving Alexia to skoot herself closer to you. Her hand comes to rest on your face, gently brushing the water residue off.
“Hola nena, stay calm for me, you had a little fall, we’re going to get you inside now, do you think you can get up for me?”
You nod at Alexia, you can’t remember what happened but you don’t want to be on the floor any longer than you have to be.
Alexia helps you up and off the pitch, the medics leading the two of you inside.
Alexia immediately gets you situated on a table, the medics immediately getting their hands all over you.
“Test her heart for me please, and her caffeine and sugar levels. I’ll be right back nena, I’m just going to grab something from my locker, text me if you need anything.”
Alexia is inexplicably angry and she knows that if she spends any more time in a room with you she’s going to yell, or say something that she’s going to regret. If it wasn’t for all the doctors, she probably wouldn’t care but she doesn’t need to air out private situations in front of people who have no business in your private life.
So she stomps her way to the locker room, set on trying to detangle the mess of emotions that has developed deep in her gut ever since this morning.
It’s been longer than this morning, Alexia’s noticed oddities in your behaviour, ever since you’d arrived. The energy drinks, the constant eye bags, power naps whenever you could fit them in. You live by yourself, something that Alexia deeply disapproves of and after today she doesn’t think it should continue on like this. You’d requested your own apartment for two reasons, privacy and because you didn’t want to disturb the private life of your teammates.
Alexia wanted to punch a wall, or throw something. That was all that was running across her mind as she paced back and forth in the locker rooms.
All Alexia could think about was your body, crumpled up on the pitch and she had no idea why and no idea how to help you.
You were sitting in the medical room, by yourself, beside the many doctors and physios who were poking and attaching you to different things.
You were exhausted, you were finding it hard to keep your eyes open. You’d felt the same way all day, hitting the pitch had been too much, too hard, too much energy for your exhausted body.
You wished that you’d feel the same every night when you tried to go to sleep every night, but alas, it felt like as soon as you got into bed, or as soon as you tried to close your eyes sleep just avoided you.
Alexia was probably two laps of the locker room away from throwing her phone at a wall when Mapi walked in, weirded out by the sight of her best friend grinding her feet into the floor as she walked back and forth in the locker rooms.
“Ale?”
Alexia’s pacing doesn’t stop, but she does take a second to look up at María and for some reason the concernedly smiley face of her best friend seems to help the anger bubbling up inside her simmer down slightly.
“Alexia, what’s wrong?”
Alexia’s hands are fidgeting wildly in front of her, her fingers clicking and toying with each other.
“Somethings wrong with Nena, she’s exhausted and frantic and she looks like she hasn’t slept and she’s downing all those energy drinks and maybe they’re getting to her heart? Maybe that’s why she collapsed or maybe she’s sick but somethings wrong and I don’t know what and she collapsed right in front of my eyes.”
Normally, out of the two, Mapi is the one who confides in Alexia the most. Alexia isn’t an openly emotional person and when she is it’s with Olga, because for some reason that woman can get everything and anything out of her. Here though, it’s clear Alexia needs someone to de stress with and Mapi is happy to take up that role.
“It’s just her Alexia, she’s always tired and drinking energy drinks, it’s how the kids these days do it.”
Mapi’s words are supposed to soothe Alexia, honestly they do the complete opposite.
“But she shouldn’t, she’s an athlete, she shouldn’t need them. Mapi, I am telling you, something is seriously wrong, I can feel it. I know she’s always tired, but she looks like she hasn’s slept in weeks and I don’t know why.”
Mapi, for the sake of trying to calm Alexia down, decides that instead of trying to invalidate her worries, it’s best to just try and reason with Ale.
“Ale, how about we go see her, if somethings wrong I’m sure she’d tell us.”
Alexia nods at Mapi, taking the extended arm that her friend gives her and allowing the Zaragozan to lead her back to the physio room she’d previously been in.
When she returns, she’s relieved to see that you look a lot better than how you had on the pitch. There are still grass stains across your face, but you’re less pale than you were before and you’re sipping on a gatorade which somehow makes Alexia feel less guilty about the whole situation.
“Hola pequena.”
Your eyes manage to meet Alexia’s, something that kind of shocks her, considering just how weighed down your eyes seem to be by the deep purple bags underneath your eyes.
“Bon dia.”
Alexia would not call this a good morning, she couldn’t even call it an okay one.
“What’s wrong?”
Alexia’s focus is on the physios, not you, she’s saving you for later.
“Luckily, not a lot. I checked her heart and I couldn’t find any abnormalities, it’s clear that she’s tired, she’s told me she woke up a little bit earlier than normal this morning which paired with the warmer weather and some minor dehydration is probably the main cause. She’ll take today off, rest up, but I can’t find anything that would indicate any serious underlying problems so there isn’t any reason why I would say she couldn’t be back on the pitch tomorrow.”
It’s a positive sign, but not what Alexia wants to hear, she wants something to be wrong, so that she can get to the bottom of whatever is happening to you.
“Good, thank you, do you think you could give us the room for a couple of minutes, por favor?”
The physio smiles at Alexia, giving her a nod before leaving the room discreetly.
As soon as Alexia is certain he is no longer within hearing distance, she pivots on her heel, so she’s facing you directly.
“What are you hiding?”
It’s so ominous, even Mapi thinks it’s a little bit far-fetched, as a 16 year old, Mapi was probably hiding more than she was sharing, it’s not really a fair question.
“What am I hiding?”
It sounds like you're even struggling to get words out, your voice is just so tired, like it’s taking up so much energy for you to speak a few simple words.
“Somethings wrong, you’ve been drinking all these energy drinks, which are not only far too caffeinated but also extremely bad for you and you look like you haven’t slept properly in weeks.”
You want to tell Alexia that she’s right, you aren’t sleeping properly, you haven’t been your whole life, but she wouldn’t be the first person who tried to help you and has failed miserably in the process, it’s quite simple, sleep and you just simply do not work.
“Anyone from England would tell you that I just drink energy drinks, it’s not that deep Alexia.”
Mapi is teetering on the edge of having to hold Alexia back from causing you bodily harm.
“Deep? Collapsing on a pitch is not deep? It seems pretty deep to me amor, you can hardly talk, you could hardly read this morning, it’s clear something is wrong and I want to know what.”
You don’t know how to tell Alexia that something isn’t wrong, this is just you, or the new version of you in Spain. Your insomnia had always affected you, moving to Spain had seemed to make it worse but you’d always lived like this, ever since you could remember, sleep was just something that you could never have consistently.
“Nothings wrong, I am fine, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
Alexia’s jaw sets and for a second Mapi does truly worry for you.
“I want you to not lie to my face.”
You visibly flinch at those words, you don’t want nor mean to lie to Alexia, but you figure you are saving yourself from a merry go round of painful conversations.
“I’m not lying.”
Alexia knows you are, she’s not stupid.
“Right, well you’ve got the day off, you’ll be coming home with me and staying with Olga and I until you look less like you are on the brink of a coma. María will go get your things.”
Mapi nods quickly at Alexia, walking out of the room as quickly as she can manage, leaving just you and Alexia.
Even though Alexia is mad, she begrudgingly helps you up from the bed, draping your arm over her shoulder to give you somebody to lean on as she walks the two of you out to her car. She’s just gotten you seated in the passenger seat and closed your door when Mapi pops up with your things. Before Alexia can hop into the car and get going, Mapi stops her.
“Be easy on her, si? She’s going through something and I know you want to know, I know you want to help her but whatever is wrong, she’s not talking about it for a reason. Maybe she doesn’t need you questioning her, just take a look, a proper look at her and see if you can get a better idea. For me?”
Alexia knows that Mapi won’t let go of her shirt without some kind of acknowledgement that she’s going to agree to her.
“Okay, I’ll go easy on her.”
It’s a half truth, Mapi seems to accept it though, letting go of Alexia’s shirt so that the Catalan can take her seat in her car and begin to drive the two of you home.
The car ride home is eerily silent, Alexia keeps her eyes focused on the road, her knuckles whitening from the grip she has on the steering wheel and her jaw so set that you begin to worry that her teeth must hurt from the constant clenching.
When the two of you pull up to Alexia’s house you’re feeling a lot better, your head is clearer and you don’t feel as broken as you had earlier.
You clamber out of the car, walking your way slowly to Alexia’s front door. Alexia bothers around with the keys, twisting them in the hole before opening up the door for the two of you.
“Ale? You’re home early.”
Olga’s voice filters in from the kitchen, the two of you making your way through until you spot her.
“Nena, is that you? I didn’t know we were going to have company, if I had I would have cleaned up a little bit for you.”
You shake your head at Olga, giving her a small smile that you’ve reserved just for Alexia’s partner.
“Go sit down on the couch, get your feet up.”
Alexia’s voice is stern, it immediately makes Olga frown at her.
Alexia allows her girlfriend to drag her from the kitchen and into their pantry.
“What’s with the mood?”
Olga’s happy space is her and Ale’s house, it’s supposed to be the one place that the both of them can get away from football and stress.
“Nena is hiding something, she collapsed at training and we don’t really know why but she does and she won’t tell us.”
Olga nods her head, the somehow younger but wiser woman putting on her thinking hat and trying to rationalise what Alexia is telling her.
“Don’t you think it would be smarter to try and be nice to her? I know that she’s fucked up, but it’s clear she just needs some love right now, maybe you should be giving it to her.”
Alexia thinks that Olga doesn’t understand the whole situation, she doesn’t see you everyday, doesn’t see how ragged you are and how deep this issue stems, but she also can’t not listen to her, the woman somehow tends to always be right and she can’t see why that would change now.
“Okay, okay.”
Olga smiles at her, getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Alexia’s jaw before pushing her out of the pantry and back into the kitchen.
Alexia is unsurprised to find you dead asleep on her couch, your head lulled against one of her couch pillows. She’s glad, and decides to pocket the inevitable conversation she is going to have to have with you, instead opting to help her girlfriend make lunch.
You sleep for a total of 40 minutes, something that Alexia is less glad about. As soon as she notices you’re awake she’s forcing a bottle of water into your hands and two aspirins. You take them before she shoves them down your throat, taking multiple gulps of the water so Alexia didn’t have another reason to be mad with you.
To be fair, she looked a lot less mad than she had earlier, you wouldn’t even really describe how she looked as mad, more concerned.
Alexia sat down in front of you on the couch, taking a deep breath before she started speaking.
“I’m not going to force you to tell me anything, I understand that you are going through a lot, I just need you to know that I’m here for you, anything you need nena I am here to support you and try and help you however I think best.”
Alexia’s words cut deep for you, it’s a struggle for you not to break out in tears, as much as you really want to.
“I know Ale.”
She nods at you, holding back her own tears, there’s some kind of understanding between the two of you, that you aren’t going to cry or speak, just acknowledge each other for now.
“Olga’s made up the spare room for you, you’ll stay here until you’re in a better place. You’re welcome here and you’ll be no bother for the next couple of weeks.”
You nod your head, biting down on your tongue to stop yourself from arguing back to her.
The rest of the afternoon is fairly similar, you are fed by Olga and then spend the majority of the rest of the day lounging on the couch, occasionally falling asleep, but as Alexia notices, never for longer than 40 minutes. It’s like your body refuses to properly rest.
When dinner comes around you look just as exhausted as you had this morning, you just look a little bit less dead.
After dinner, you head off to bed, alexia’s glad, she’s hoping that you’ll have a nice long proper sleep and that all of this will be solved.
She’s wrong.
Instead of hopping into bed, you pull out your laptop, knowing that if you stand a chance at getting even two hours of sleep it’s not happening any time soon.
You work at your school work, completing the things you hadn’t finished earlier. When 12 o’clock rolls around, you force yourself away from your laptop and underneath the covers of alexia’s extremely comfortable spare bed.
You stare at the roof, every now and again you’ll twitch and for some reason it’ll hurt your brain. You play your favourite song over and over again in your head, praying that it’ll somehow lull you to sleep, it neves does. You stare at the ceiling and try to focus on the sound of the fan. You stare at the ceiling and wonder if the swirl pattern in it is mobing. You think about your favourite film and how the characters used to provide you so much peace. When you remember how much they meant to you, you let a few stray tears fall.
You stare at the ceiling.
Every once and a while, you’ll roll over and press your face into the pillows and pull the covers over your head and hope that if you hide somehow you’ll fall asleep.
Eventually, you’ll fall asleep.
Sometimes it takes hours, all for you to wake up half an hour later feeling as unsatisfied as ever.
It’s how you live, it’s the same routine every night, it’s your normal.
When 4am rolls around and you’ve managed to get a measly twenty minutes or so of sleep, you climb out of the sheets, annoyed that your glass of water is empty. Your eyes are dry and itchy with the feeling of needing to cry, you push that feeling deep into your gut, ignoring the desperate need to ignore your feelings in favour of keeping a strong face.
You try to be as quiet as possible, filling up your glass and taking a seat on Alexia’s couch, looking out of the window of her lounge room at the Barcelona skyline that lights up along her back fence.
“Nena is that you?”
You nearly jump out of your skin.
Alexia is standing in the kitchen, leaning up against the island, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and staring at you inquisitively.
“What are you doing awake?”
The words trigger something in you, it’s probably the half dazed state you’re in, the complete exhaustion and annoyance you’re experiencing at your inability to sleep, but all of a sudden, tears are dripping your face and you don’t know why or how.
Alexia freezes for a second, she’d expected something obviously, but crying was not one of those things.
She’s never seen you cry, she’s never had to deal with a teenager who is breaking down right in front of her eyes. She doesn’t know what to do, or how to help you, all she knows is that you are crying a lot and she is just standing and watching.
The problem solver in Alexia tells her that she has to do something, so she paces her way over to the couch, sitting down beside you and tentatively wrapping an arm around your shoulder. She doesn’t know whether or not it’s the right way to go, but it seems to pay off when you immediately relax into her, your head craning into the pocket of her neck and shoulder. Fresh, warm tears drip down onto Alexia’s skin.
Alexia is tense, her back as straight as a board. She doesn’t normally have to deal with this kind of thing, she doesn’t have to try and sympathise with feelings. She’s not an emotional person herself, she cries once a year normally and that’s on the anniversary of her fathers death.
“Nena, it’s okay, I’m here.”
Alexia’s words are calculated, strategic, like she’s reading them off of google or something. Truly, she doesn’t intend for them to come off that way, but it’s kind of just how they do.
Alexia waits for the tears to stop coming, she figures it has to happen, you can’t just cry forever.
The two of you sit like that, crisscrossed on the couch until you manage to compose yourself, until you’ve cried out all the annoyance and grievances over your current predicament.
In the past, your insomnia would stop you from sleeping for days, but eventually the exhaustion would catch up with you and you would get a good night or a few of sleep, but it had been weeks now of you living in Barcelona and sleep had been avoiding you the whole time.
“Nena, what’s wrong?”
Right now, it feels like everything is wrong, it feels like your whole world is upside and you want it to be normal, you want to just be able to close your eyes and get some fucking sleep.
“I can’t sleep.”
Alexia’s brow furrows.
“Well maybe you shouldn’t have had so many energy drinks, no?”
It’s the kind of reply you should have expected.
“No Alexia, I can’t sleep, I have insomnia.”
Alexia struggles with the translation in her head, in-som-ni-a?
“Sorry, what?”
You take a deep shaky breath, pulling your head away from Alexia’s chest so that you can rub the tears from your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt.
“Insomnia, I can’t sleep, medically. I have a condition that stops me from being able to sleep regularly.”
Alexia’s head all of a sudden starts working, she’s a little bit behind, it’s 4am after all and she’s struggling to keep her eyes open.
“You can’t sleep?”
You shake your head, Alexia wants to tell you that you’re being silly, but when she sees the pure heart break and exhaustion in your eyes she knows that you can’t be lying. You look so young, tear tracks all over your face and body caved in on itself.
“I can’t sleep.”
It makes more sense to alexia now, all the energy drinks, the exhaustion, the power naps.
“Have you talked to the team doctors about it, I’m sure they could give you medication or something that could make it better, this can’t go on forever, nena.”
You shake your head at Alexia, your exhaustion turning to fear.
“No and you have to promise you won’t either. I’ve been through it, the sleep tests, all of it. I won’t take drugs, you can't make me and I refuse to.”
It’s like you go from being a mellowed out version of yourself to an attack dog.
“Nena, you need help, you can’t keep playing when you can hardly keep yourself standing.”
You shake your head, so fast that Alexia worries you might pass out from the sudden and frequent movements.
“I’m not taking drugs, you can’t make me, I won’t do it.”
Alexia doesn’t know where this sudden defensiveness has come from, but she knows two things. She needs to make sure that you understand that she can be there for whatever you are going through whilst also trying to figure out what is your random refusal to not take medication.
“Wouldn’t it help some?”
It’s hard to explain your complete hatred for any kinds of drugs. You’d grown up in a household where your mom might as well have been a druggie with how little she was invested in your life and where your dad was a legitimate druggie.
You struggled to take paracetamol, let alone any kind of prescribed drug.
You were scared shitless that somehow, you would turn out like your father and that was the last thing you could ever want.
You didn’t come from a loving home, you didn’t come from a place where you got the newest cleats every year and the best training. You came from a home where grocery money was spent on cocaine and any football money was spent on heroin. You’d been lucky enough that you were good enough for England teams to notice you, for academies to notice you. You were always good enough that you didn’t have to fork out the extra money and if you did it was your own money.
That’s why you’d been so eager to get out of England, to come to Spain. It saved you from the lifestyle that you had been so desperate to get away from.
“I’m not going to take medication Ale.”
For a long time, you’d blamed the insomnia on the constant partying that happened at your house as a kid. Your dad was a revolving door house kind of person, there were always people inside of your house, women, druggies, sex workers, partiers. It was never ending, and for a logn while you’d just thought you couldn’t sleep because of the constant noise inside of your house. When you went away for your first camp at 11, you realised that just simply wasn’t it, you had a serious problem. Maybe it was a byproduct of always being in a house full of noise, or maybe it was just your fucked up ness, you just knew that somewhere along the way, everything in your brain started working backwards.
“Nena, you don’t have to take medication, but can you tell me why?”
You figure that you’ve already told Alexia too much, why stop now?
“My dad has drug problems, always has, probably always will. My mom was never really home as a kid, when she was it wasn’t pretty. I don’t want to turn out like them. That’s why I didn’t go home over the break”
Alexia’s heart drops. She’s been through her own problems with her family, her fathers death and so on. But she’s always had something and that is a safe place to go if she ever needs it. Her parents loved her, they did everything to protect her as a child, Alexia grew up in a space where she could be whoever she wanted and her parents would support her. You, to some extent, clearly didn’t and it explained a lot to her. It explained why you were so hesitant to accept help from anyone, and why you were such a lone wolf, you had to be for survival.
Alexia suddenly wraps her arms around you, all of a sudden feeling an overwhelming sense that she has to protect you, that you need her to keep you safe.
You’re crying again, it hurts less this time, it comes more from a place of exhaustion than annoyance and anger.
“I just want to rest Ale, I just want some peace.”
Alexia’s grip tightens, she’s compressing your bones in the best way possible.
“It’s okay nena, I’ve got you, it’s going to be okay.”
Alexia just holds you, until you exhaust yourself so much from the crying that you fall asleep.
She doesn’t want to wake you, not after everything you’ve just confessed to her, so she lays herself down on the couch, keeping you pulled tight to her chest as she drapes a blanket over the two of you and rests down against the pillows, deciding that she might as well get a few hours in for herself.
You wake up to the sun in your eyes and the smell of bacon and pancakes.
You feel better than you have in weeks, blinking the sleep away from your eyes and slowly sitting up as you adjust to your surroundings.
Alexia and Olga are in the kitchen, talking hushedly as Alexia cooks over the stove and Olga rocks with her from behind. It feels and looks intimate and you are so tempted to sneak out of the front door to leave them to their peace and avoid all the obvious issues that are going to have to be unpacked with your captain.
You’re seriously considering, but your plotting is stopped when Olga turns around to grab something and she spots you on the couch, conscious and awake.
“Bon Dia, nena.”
Alexia pivots as well, sending a smile towards you.
“Good morning, what time is it?”
Olga detaches herself from Alexia, moving towards the fridge.
“It’s just past six.”
2 and a half hours of sleep, that’s not bad at all, it’s better than you’ve had in weeks.
“Breakfast is almost done, if you want to take a seat at the table.”
You nod at Alexia, standing up from your spot on the couch and walking over to the dining table, taking a seat at the table and trying to tame your bed head whilst Alexia plates up the food.
The plate she hands you is full of food, bacon, toast, pancakes, sausages, fruit. It reminds you of home in a weird way, it’s not a truly traditional Spanish breakfast, more English and it seems like Ale’s done it for a reason.
She waits until you’ve started to tuck into your food before she starts speaking.
“I’ve scheduled a meeting with Jona and the medical team this morning, for you.”
Your boyd goes from relaxed and at peace to tense, Alexia knows it’s breaking your trust in a way, but she also knows that she’s now obligated to protect you.
“I told you I don't want doctors or drugs.”
Alexia takes a deep breath, looking over at Olga and being reminded that sometimes she has to do hard things.
“I know nena, and i’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to, I don’t think I could if I tried, but this can’t keep going. I did some research, there are some really good drugs for people that struggle like you, that aren’t addictive and can help lots. I’m not a doctor and neither are you. We don’t know about these things, it’s not our job, but there are people who do know about this stuff and they can try to help you, really help you. You can’t live like this, it’s not sustainable in any way, we need to find some way to fix this. Whether it’s therapy or medication or resting, you need something and you can’t provide it yourself.”
Alexia words are a punch to the gut, but they also make sense, she knows what she’s talking about.
“You promise that I won’t have to do anything I don’t want to?”
Alexia nods her head, she’s shocked that you’re already sort of agreeing with her.
“I promise nena, I just want to help you somehow, however that may be.”
You take a big bite of your food, and a gulp of the orange juice that Olga has set down next to you.
“I slept better than I have in months last night, because of you, I don’t know how or why but something you did made me sleep and if you think that I need help, then I can’t really argue with that. It needs to be on my own terms though.”
Alexia nods, this is so hard for you, accepting help, accepting that you have a problem that needs fixing.
“Of course nena.”
You nod, drawing all of your thoughts together.
“I think I need help Ale, I want help.”
#woso#woso community#marry me rn#barca femeni#alexia putellas angst#alexia putellas is mom#alexia putellas x reader#barca femeni x reader#wfc barcelona#barcelona women#barcelona femeni#barca#woso smut#lucy bronze
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Secrets in the sheets. — helaena targaryen
SUMMARY: You are Helaena's lady-in-waiting and in a secret relationship with her. You had been in love with each other and realised your feelings over the time. After a feast with her family, you decide to take care of her but it ends up with her being between your legs. — check out the request
word count: 3,327
genre: smut with plot | afab!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly
warnings/tropes: 18+ MDNI!! NSFW, cunnilingus, fingering, slight praise kink, breast/nipple play, secret relationship, mention of Y/N once, set after the death of viserys (the coronation of aegon already happened), english is not my first language, slightly proofread — if I forgot something, please let me know!
a/n: i'm quite nervous to publish this one here because it's the first time i wrote and publish anything that is focused on a lot of smut. please bear with me, i'm still trying to figure it out! but i hope you enjoy it <3 reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and highly welcomed!
disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know!
18+ MDNI divider by cafekitsune
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ navigation | hotd masterlist | add yourself to my taglist
Being the lady-in-waiting of Helaena Targaryen, the Queen, was a pleasure for you in different ways you could think about. As a noblewoman, you stayed on Helaena’s side most of the time each day. Being her company and spending time together, whether it was with her children or in the evenings after they’ve been brought to their beds. You had been a friend of hers long before she was Queen. You’ve been her official lady-in-waiting for the past three years. Helaena and you shared similar interests, and you understood them. That was something you always admired about her, even long before you were her lady-in-waiting.
You’ve even read about insects in different books, so you could talk with her about her interest in them. Something she always appreciated about you and meant a lot to her. While others didn’t really understand her interest in the insects, you went your way and took your time to read and study the topic, even if you could spend your time with other things. But what mattered as well were Helaena’s needs and what she wanted, and you were there to try to fulfil them as much as possible.
Every night, she’d want to spend time with you until she’d go to bed, sometimes, she wanted you to lay next to her so she wouldn’t have to be alone. You’d be talking about different things, mostly any insects she had in mind. Sometimes, she’d ask you about your opinion on her embroidery works while you gently combed through her hair in the evenings. Other nights, you’d stay on her side as she took a bath, helping her to wash or just keep her company. It was only the two of you since she trusted you the most. Perhaps it was because you had known her way before she had to be Queen or marry her brother. There was always a strong bond between you, which only the two of you could completely understand. There was always a deeper connection between you but neither you nor her dared to do something about it.
Since she had been crowned Queen, you grew even closer but what you wouldn’t have ever expected was to get or realise your feelings for her. Feelings you wouldn’t normally have for just a friend.
You tried to ignore the growing feelings for her. It wouldn’t work to be with her; you knew that it could be common for two women to love one another but only in the hidden. It probably couldn’t work out in the eyes of everyone else but despite this, she was married and the Queen.
The longer you tried to hold back your feelings, the harder it was to ignore them. Especially when you were in her company during her baths or helped her to dress or undress. Seeing her in her naked form, the way her soft skin felt against your fingertips. Wishing you could be more than just a friend to her. She was the one you thought about before falling asleep way too often. You thought it was wrong to think about Helaena like this, but you couldn’t stop yourself either. It was too hard to ignore and all you wished and yearned for was to be able to love her, to be with her and that she might feel the same for you.
But you weren’t the only one who was struggling. She was too. When she noticed herself thinking about you more often than usual, in ways she never thought about anyone before, she felt confused and conflicted. She thought something was wrong with her. Thinking about another woman in these ways? But why did it feel so good to think about you these ways? Every time you spoke, she wished she could save the sound of your voice in her mind forever. Helaena didn’t really like it if someone touched her body but with you, it always had been different. She never minded if she felt your hands on her skin. Even long before she realised her growing feelings for you.
She found herself longing for your touch whenever you helped her to dress or washed her back. Your hands felt perfect and right on her skin, they were soft and made her feel filled with a warmth she hadn’t felt before. She found herself often looking down at your lips as she watched you in the mirror while you fixed her hair or laced her gowns. A soft smile on your lips would bring a smile to her lips as well. The more she watched you, the more she noticed all your features she hadn’t noticed before.
Oh, what a beautiful person you were, so gentle but too far to be reached.
She was sure she could never have you; she was too afraid to ask you if you knew what these feelings could be or if you shared her feelings. She was afraid you might be disgusted by her. She was afraid you could talk to someone else about this or that you could make fun of her, even if you were her closest friend. She was afraid of possibly losing you. Deep down, she knew you wouldn’t fulfil her fears, but she still had them.
Those fears were forgotten once you asked her if you could kiss her. It was a moment of comfort, sitting close on the floor as she talked about her insects. One of the recent ones she found. You watched her in awe as she talked about her special interest with so much depth and excitement. And you didn’t mean to blurt out such a question, it was fully on accident. You tried to take it back but after Helaena nodded and lifted her head to look you into your eyes. Both of you were nervous but leaned in, slowly. Once you felt each other’s lips on each other, everything made sense suddenly. Her lips felt good on yours and they moved perfectly against each other. One of your hands held hers, as the other one laid on her cheek as if she could slip out of your hands any second. As both of you pulled away, there was a better and deeper understanding between you. You knew what you wanted. She knew what she wanted. You wanted each other, even if it might feel forbidden but it made sense. It felt right and made you two happy despite what could happen in the future.
It was a secret between you two. One you’d keep until you die.
Since your shared kiss, your somewhat secret relationship has flourished. Your days were filled with many stolen glances and subtle touches. No one seemed to suspect anything, given that you two had always been very close with each other before, which was a good thing for you two because you were able to love one another in secret. You continued to keep your formalities in front of everyone else. Calling each other by your formal names. But once you two were alone in her chamber, you would always just be Helaena and Y/N. No duties, no formalities. Just the two of you, happy in each other’s arms. It was everything you’d need.
She may have had no interest in the marriage or romantically loved her brother, but you still felt somewhat guilty for everything. You’ve been doing behind his back ever since Helaena and you dared to let it happen and see where things would take you.
You were currently helping her to undress after a long day, which ended with a feast with her family almost an hour ago. Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, and Maelor were already brought to their beds and now she was standing in front of you, her back turned to you as you slowly unlaced her gown.
Your fingers shoved her gown down to reveal her skin and smallclothes she was wearing underneath. You noticed how her body got slight goosebumps, possibly from the air hitting her exposed body. Your hands brushed over the revealed parts of her skin, which caused her to shiver even more. A smile made its way on your lips as you noticed the reaction of her body to your touch. As you made eye contact through the mirror, you noticed a glimmer of desire and need in her eyes.
“Do you wish that I kiss you, my love?” You whispered into her ear, and she nodded immediately as a reply, her lower lip slightly between her teeth. Words stuck in her throat as she saw the desire in your eyes as well. You chuckled at her reaction and were more than happy to give her what she desired.
You brushed her silver-white hair on her right shoulder while your lips found their way to her left shoulder. Leaving soft and gentle kisses on her skin. Making sure to cherish her as much as she deserved it. A slight shiver ran down her spine when you slowly pulled down her gown completely. Helaena hummed and leaned into your embrace as she often did. Your hands traced her arms up and down as you continued to kiss her shoulder. Slightly sucking on her skin but being aware not to leave any visible marks on her body. As it could cause too much attention, no matter how deeply you wished that you could be able to leave your marks on her. You always had to be careful. A shaky gasp left her lips as you sucked on her shoulder and the back of her neck. Helaena closed her eyes while you slowly removed her smallclothes to leave her standing completely naked in front of you. Your own body got aroused by her reactions to your touch and kisses.
Your hands found their way to the curves on the side of her body as you continued to kiss her, slowly making your way to her spine. Another gasp left her lips when you wrapped your arms around her and gently squeezed her breasts. She leaned into your embrace even more and turned her head slightly to face you and capture your lips in a needy and loving kiss. You kissed her back and slightly bit down on her lower lip, causing her to whimper in your mouth.
Both of you slightly opened your mouths to be able to taste each other on your tongues, causing both of you to hum into each other’s mouths. You continued to kiss each other while your hands massaged her breasts, pinching her sensitive nipples one or two times. Her skin was slowly growing hotter each second. She eventually turned around to face you and lifted her hands to undress you as well. You watched her hands in anticipation as she slid down your gown from your body and made sure to remove your smallclothes as well, leaving both of you naked.
As you both stood naked in front of each other, she leaned in to kiss you again and pushed her body against yours. Feeling each other’s warmth and soft skin caused your body to shiver. The both of you had your hands on each other as she started to push you in the direction of her bed and the kiss getting more heated between you. You felt the edge of her bed on the back of your thighs and let her push you down on the soft sheets of her bed. They smelled like her, causing your mind to drive wild immediately.
She smiled down at you as you laid across her bed and crawled on top of you, straddling your lap and started to kiss your neck after she pulled your hair away to reveal the skin of your neck. You moaned softly as you felt her sucking on your skin slightly and licked over your sensitive spot. Sometimes, you could think she knows your body better than you. She knew how to drive you crazy, only with the simplest actions. Your hands roamed over her back as she kissed down your neck to your collarbone and lower to your chest, leaving a small mark there. You closed your eyes and bit down on your lower lip as you felt her tongue gliding over one of your nipples and sucking on it.
You arched your back, “Hel, I…” You whimpered as she let go of your nipple and focused on your other one now. Causing your pulse to quicken with the building pleasure and growing wetness between your legs as she brushed over your upper body with her fingers. Always so gentle with you. You wanted more; you needed more of her. She knew that and teased you. “Please, I need you, my love,” you whispered as a shiver rolled down your spine as your gaze met hers.
She smiled and pulled away from you, parting your legs and laid down between them. Her lips curled into a smirk now as she saw how your cunt already glistened with your slick. She hummed and looked up to you. You held yourself on your elbows and watched her, eager to finally get her mouth on you. A quiet whine left your mouth as you felt her breath on your skin and her face hovered over your sensitive area. Helaena kissed the inside of your thighs and put her hands on both sides of your hips.
“So beautiful,” she whispered and teased your folds with her finger, causing you to whimper once again. In a rush of need, you bucked your hips against her hand to feel more of her, but she moved her hand away and held you down by your hips more firmly. “We have all the time tonight, my sweet girl,” she whispered against your cunt, “No need to rush.”
You nodded and sharply inhaled as she slowly dragged her fingers between your folds again, spread them slightly and eventually bent her head down to lick through them. A moan immediately left your lips as she devoured your cunt. She hummed into you as she felt and tasted your warm slick on her tongue. Her tongue found your clit and started to suck on it gently, causing you to gasp in pleasure.
“F-fuck,” you moaned as she continued to pleasure you with her mouth. Her tongue circled on your clit and both of her hands continued to hold you down by your hips to stop you from moving too much. One of your hands found its way to her forehead to tuck a strand of her hair out of her face so she could look at you better. The eye contact with her brought you closer to your release.
As she added a finger and slid into you with it, you moaned louder. You tried to keep down your sounds with a hand over your mouth, in fear a knight in front of the chamber’s door might hear what you two were doing but it only added to the pleasure you felt because of Helaena. Your legs started to twitch slightly as she added another finger and put more pressure on your clit with her tongue, aiming to bring you to your climax even faster. The sight of her between your legs was heavenly and the sounds you made were sinful. She knew you were getting closer as your arms slowly gave up and your head fell back on her bed; she felt how you were clinching around her fingers. You played with your breasts, squeezing them and had your eyes closed, almost on the edge of coming on your girlfriend’s tongue and around her fingers. The scent of her sheets caused your brain to turn into mush once again, only adding to the pleasure she brought to you.
“Don’t stop,” you begged her as she slowed down her movements for a moment. “Then look at me, my love.” She whispered, hovering with her face over your cunt and waiting for you to look back at her. You slowly opened your eyes, your face heated up and deeply exhaled as you put your weight on your elbows to look at her again. The slow movements of her fingers did not stop. “Always my good girl, aren’t you?” She smiled as she praised you, causing a moan to slip out of your mouth and leaned down to take your swollen clit into her mouth and fastened her fingers again to get you over the edge.
You started moaning again and intertwined your fingers with her hand that was still on your hips, your eyes not leaving hers as she finally brought you over the edge. She moaned into your cunt as you clenched around her fingers and eventually came on her tongue. She cleaned you up with her tongue while your head fell back against her bed again, your legs slightly shaking as she continued to slide her fingers in and out of your cunt as you came down from your climax. After a few minutes, she pulled out her fingers and left a soft kiss over your clit, you slightly whimpered but had a smile on your lips from the pleasure you just felt. Helaena hummed as she held your gaze and licked her fingers clean. She crawled up to you, laid down next to you and captured your lips in a gentle kiss; you softly moaned into her mouth as you tasted yourself on her tongue.
“You did so well for me, my angel,” she whispered and kissed your sweaty forehead. Your smile widened and melted into her embrace. You sighed in happiness and kissed her collarbone while she gently traced the side of your body with her fingers that weren’t inside you a few moments ago.
You slowly sat up and pushed her down against her sheets and continued to kiss her from her collarbone down to her cunt. Your hands gently touched her breasts, and she let out a soft sigh after you slightly pinched her nipples before your hands wandered over the rest of her body, worshipping her. She already had her legs parted as your face hovered over her glistening heat. You bit down on your lower lip, moved your hands on either side of her thighs and kissed them gently. You told her how pretty she was and how much you loved her, she smiled down at you and caressed your cheek as she raised her upper body for a moment.
“And I love you, my angel,” she whispered in response. There was a short moment of comfortable silence between you as you watched each other in awe before you told her to lie down. It was your turn to pleasure your secret girlfriend now and show her how much you loved her.
Even if you both knew how much you admired each other, every night you were together was a new added layer to your relationship. It might have to happen in secret but both of you were happy with each other. The yearning you feel for each other throughout the day could be painful, but it was bearable, knowing you could spend your day together without anyone questioning how close you seemed to be at certain points. You were her lady-in-waiting, and no one would question why you only you were the only one she’d let her dress or undress. No one questioned why she only wanted you to be there. Ever since you’ve been officially her lady-in-waiting, you were the only one she’d let so close to her. Especially for any intimate tasks. But even simple ones as doing her hair, she only wanted you to do it. As you were the only one, she wanted to be close to her. The people around you admired how close the two of you were, completely unaware of what you were doing behind closed doors. The love the two of you shared kept both of you happy, that’s what mattered the most.
#⚘; — my writing ✧♡#helaena targaryen#helaena targaryen x reader#helaena targaryen smut#helaena targaryen fanfiction#helaena targaryen x fem!reader#helaena targaryen fanfic#helaena targaryen imagine#helaena targaryen x y/n#helaena targaryen x you#helaena targaryen oneshot#helaena targaryen x female reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfic#helaena targaryen fic#house of the dragon smut#hotd smut#hotd imagine#house of the dragon x reader#house of the dragon imagine#hotg x reader
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IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.
chapter seven:
<last chapter> <next chapter>
➴ warnings: brief mention of smut
➴ word count: 2.4k
➴ author’s note: is the thing people say about rainstorms before rainbows true? i guess it’s time for soph and jack to find out. “happy” reading ♡
FALLING out of love was something you had yet to experience.
Of course, back then you thought you had fallen out of love with Harris, but soon you’d realize that you had never really loved him. It was some kind of strong admiration, a need to have someone to call yours, someone who you could write love songs for, someone who you could imagine yourself getting old with.
‘Course, none of those things happened with Harris, not even during your honeymoon phase. You were young when you started dating him, twenty-one and with no real idea of what love truly was.
So an older actor who thought you were cute?
It felt like you had hit the jackpot.
But now, as you try your hardest to forget what Jack meant— means— to you, you realize that it isn’t as easy as you initially thought it would be.
Jack is everywhere, occupying every corner of your mind. You remember how sweet he’d talk to you after sex, always treating you with kindness and making sure you were well taken care of. How he’d send you memes that were purely about Hockey even if you never understood what was so funny about them, how he’d get excited talking about his job and how he’d try to explain all the terms to you.
Despite what happened, Jack had made you so happy. It was sad to think that it was all probably a joke to him, but for you? No, it was real. So real. Every time you looked at his face, you reminded yourself that some things are not meant to last forever.
But God knew how much you wanted him to be your forever.
Keeping yourself busy was easy, and you were thankful for that. Your small concert, a week ago, filled you with so much joy and contentment— you were alive and not thinking about the middle child of the Hughes family for the first time in seven months.
Grace made sure that you took enough breaks but whenever you were alone with your thoughts for a long time, the first image your brain liked to share with you was Jack’s smile and Jack’s eyes and Jack’s nose and lips.
It was tiring.
You didn’t tell anyone, but you secretly watched his games when you were alone at night. You didn’t know much, but the experts keep saying that this is Hughes’ worst season and that he’s playing like shit, which, unfortunately, made you worry.
But you wouldn’t go back, you couldn’t go back.
Sometimes, at night, you’d remember how he looked at you when you told him you were in love with him. Or how he looked when you told him to leave, so desperate for you to hear him, at least for a few more minutes.
You’d replay that day inside of your head every night, like a nighttime routine, trying to find a different, better ending.
You’d always come up empty.
Sighing, you looked at your phone, reading Grace’s text with a smile.
Grace being Grace.
Even if she technically worked for you, you’ve barely seen Grace the past couple of days. You were both so busy it was almost impossible to keep up with each other’s schedule. But you did manage to free up some space so you could at least have lunch with her, and turns out she thought it’d be cool to include Nico too.
So, lunch at Nico’s house.
You said goodbye to the people who were working with you at the GQ photo shoot and drove to his house, blasting music through your speakers. No thoughts allowed!
You rang the doorbell, waiting until Grace herself opened the door, like she owned the house. You still weren’t sure if you wanted to know what was truly happening between the two of them, so you didn’t ask questions.
“Hi, my little popstar,” Grace shouted, hugging you tightly.
“Stop putting little before every noun when you’re referring to me.” You mumbled, face still shoved in the crook of her neck.
“Why would I do that? It’s fun and true. Come inside, Nico’s ordering pizza!”
You entered the house, feeling your cheeks getting warm when you remembered what happened the last time you were here.
“Shut the fuck up, Sophia,” during sex, he only used your name whenever he was really pissed, and apparently this was one of those times. “Don’t need anyone hearing how much of a whore you actually are.”
“Fuck, uh, come for me, baby, c’mon,” Jack whispered, hands still on you, dick fucking you hard and rough, leaving your insides raw and deliciously hurting. “Come on my cock like the good girl you are.”
Well. No more of that.
“No— Man, listen. I want a large pepperoni and a large margherita, please,” Nico smiled at you before putting his hand on his head, holding his phone with the other. “Why the hell would I put pineapple on a fucking pepperoni pizza? Let me speak to your manager, that’s— that’s a crime.”
“He’s just a Swiss Karen, really,” Grace sighed, sitting on the couch. You sat next to her, watching as Hischier tried to explain to the manager why pineapples shouldn’t even be included in pizzas in the first place. “I think he’s just nervous about the games.”
“Yeah,” you wanted to tell her that you’ve been watching the games and that it didn’t look really good for them but it would just give your I’m-already-over-Jack facade away. “Must be hard.”
“Tell me about it, I barely see him. It’s like hockey players only exist during the summer or whatever.” She sighed again, fixing her braids. You looked at her, full of compassion.
If you and Jack dated, would you feel like her?
No.
You wouldn’t know the answer to that question because that won’t happen.
“Hi, Soph,” you heard the Devils’ captain say, greeting you.
“Hey there, thirteen. How are you?”
He yawned, stretching his arms. “Tired, stressed, hungry, tired.” He stopped for a second before continuing. “Have I mentioned tired?”
“Sucks to be you, to be honest,” you giggled, looking at him funny.
The pizza would take a while to get delivered— especially since Nico argued with the manager and now they were probably taking their time spitting on the dough— so you used the time to catch up on their lives.
Grace talked about how her marketing degree never prepared her for how much work she’d actually have to get done, and how much she missed her mom and dad, and how Jessica, your vocal coach, was starting to piss her off with her I-am-better-than-everyone attitude.
Nico talked about the games, and how he basically was never at home, and how he’d spend half of his time on planes and the other half on practice and yet he still felt like they weren’t going to make it.
That made you wonder how Jack was doing with all of this. If he had come back to Newark after their week away, to spend thanksgiving with his family.
Not that you cared, you just wondered.
Noticing how both Grace and Nico stayed quiet, you realized that they’re probably waiting for you to update them on your life. You smiled awkwardly.
“I have been working a lot,” you shrugged. “I love what I do so it isn’t exactly working for me. Besides that, I sleep, eat and drink water.”
They both looked at you with pity, which made your stomach ache. You didn’t want anyone pitying you, in fact, you didn’t need it. You weren’t a damsel in distress, you didn’t need to be saved— you just chose to spend your free time alone. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.
“I’m gonna go grab some wine from the cellar, be right back,” Nico announced, out of nowhere, getting up and heading downstairs. Grace looked at him with puppy eyes and you laughed.
“People in love are disgusting,” you joked, and Grace rolled her eyes at you.
“Shut it, Twilight,” she laughed, not denying it. “I’m gonna go grab the glasses.”
The doorbell rang and you got up. “It looks like I’m gonna go grab the pizza.”
“Make sure they didn’t put poison in it!” Grace shouted, making her way to the kitchen, while you walked until you were in front of the door, smiling still.
“Sophia?”
Hi, Universe. It’s your girl, Sophia. So, what is this about? What are you trying to do here? Let me tell you now, it won’t work.
“Hum, hi?” It sounded more like a question than a greeting, but out of all things you would have imagined that could happen to you that day, opening the door and finding Jack on the other side of it wasn’t on your list.
“What are you,” he stuttered, clutching hard the bag he was holding in his hands. “I didn’t know you’d be here. I’m sorry.”
You leaned against the door, confusion taking over your face. Jack wasn’t the type of man to apologize so easily.
“It’s fine.”
You both went quiet, staring at each other. It was weird to be around Jack without touching him, your heart still hurting because you love him deeply.
It was the type of love you’d want to tell your children, if you decided to have them one day. The type of love where you’d come home after a long day, just to find your forever sitting on the couch, yapping about his day. The type of love you read in books and watch movies about, the type of love you want to write songs about. The type of love where his hugs feel like a cold, gentle breeze during a sunny day, and his kisses felt like the fireworks on the Fourth of July.
You loved Jack Hughes deeply and he wanted him to be your forever more than anything.
But it wouldn’t happen. And it’s fine. It’d be fine.
“Do you want me to call Nico?” You whispered, averting his gaze.
“You don’t need to, I just stopped by to give him this,” he raised the bag in his hands, shrugging.
“Okay…” You nodded, not sure of what to say. “Then, I guess I’m… gonna go. Nice seeing you.” You lied, because you’d much rather keep watching him on TV, with a safe distance between you two, than to face him in real life.
“No, Soph, wait—” he called you, putting his feet between the door gap. “Can we, like, talk?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jack.” You retorted, biting your bottom lip.
“Soph, did they spit on our pizza?” Grace’s voice sounded cheerful behind you, and you cringed, knowing exactly how she’s going to react once she sees Jack here. “I hope they only spitted on Nico’s pizza, to be honest. What are you doing there— Oh.”
You turned around and looked at her, smiling awkwardly. No one moved a muscle for at least ten seconds and you gave in, knowing that discussing things with her would be harder than hearing Jack out.
“I’ll just… I’ll be right back, okay?” You announced, pointing to Jack behind you. “It’s fine.”
“But—”
“It’s fine, Grace. Go find Nico, please.” You pleaded, not wanting to feel any shittier. Grace only stared at Jack for what seemed to be a whole minute before nodding once and making her way to Nico.
“I guess she still hates me.” Jack pointed out, chuckling humorlessly.
You turned around, raising your eyebrows at him. “Can you blame her?”
“No, not really,” he shrugged, putting the bag on the floor and putting his hands inside of his jeans’ pockets. “I get that you’re still mad at me.”
“I told you, I’m not mad at you. Hurt? Maybe. But I knew what I was getting myself into, so I guess I can’t really blame you.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying really hard to be the bigger person when all you wanted to do was smash his face into a wall and kiss him right after that.
“I want you to know that I am sorry about what happened,” he stepped closer, making you smell his cologne, sandalwood and something else that smelled a lot like money. Weird combination but it worked for him. “Truly. I didn’t fuck Ava or any other woman while we were together. I— I just wanted to be with you, Soph, I need you to know that.”
You stared at his face, trying so hard to find the same expression you found on your ex’s face whenever he lied and manipulated you. But you couldn’t— Jack was still the same as he was seven months ago, when he hit on you at that dinner party.
He still looked like the guy who held you close after sex, the guy who order take out for you just because he knew you’d get too tired to cook for yourself, the guy who had a playlist just for his favorite songs by you, the guy who never understood your chronically online memes but laughed nonetheless because he said the way you laugh is funnier than the joke itself.
Jack still looked like he could be your forever.
So close yet so fucking distant.
You could feel yourself slipping into him again and you knew you couldn’t do this with yourself. You had to choose yourself before choosing anyone else.
“You don’t need to say sorry,” you whispered, smiling softly. “It’s fine. As you said, we weren’t even dating. I bet you wouldn’t have reacted the way I did if it’d been the other way around.”
He looked at you like you had grown a second head. “I would’ve gone crazy if it was the other way around. Sophia, I know it’s hard to believe but—”
“It’s fine, Jack, it really is,” you stated, shaking your head. “I accept your apologies but I think—” you broke eye contact, stepping back. “I think it’s just best if we stay out of each other’s way.”
You couldn’t tell which one of you cracked first. Jack, who looked at you like he’d seen a ghost, let his shoulders fall, looking as dejected as ever. You could feel the tears starting to form in your eyes but you held on tight. You had already cried in front of him once, and you weren’t going to do that again.
“Soph,” you heard his voice, so soft and so unlike him. “Soph, you don’t… you don’t mean that, baby.”
“I do,” you looked up, squeezing your eyes shut. “I do, Jack. And it will be fine. Let’s just move on.”
“Soph…”
“Please,” you whispered, already stepping back into the house, hands on the handle. “Jack. Please.”
You finally looked at him, noticing how his eyes looked so blue and sad. He stared at you before shaking his head, once and then twice, stepping back.
“I’m so sorry, Soph.” He said softly, before leaving Nico’s porch and making his way to his car.
“I know you are, baby,” you whispered, letting the tears finally fall. “I am, too.”
“Hum… pizza for Nico Hischier?”
Great.
#jack hughes#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x oc#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes fic#jack hughes smut#jack hughes x singer!fmc#jack hughes x singer!reader#IYLMLMK
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Hello how are you? I hope you are well!
Okay wait this idea is probably dumb and stupid so you can ignore it since it popped up into my head and I wanted to ask but what about a goldfish! reader who can turn into a human.
It’s like cat! Reader or puppy! reader but instead of them being either of those they can change into a goldfish.
How would the Batfamily treat them? Like a huge tank or something? Premium fish food? Treats?
How would the Batfamily treat their human form?
I started to laugh while writing this so haha
Have a wonderful day/ night/ evening!
I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH TAKE A BREAK AND MAKE SURE TO REST AND DRINK WATER AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! 🩷❤️💙🩵💚💜💛
⭐️anon (I just dubbed myself that sorry 🤣)
You can totally be ⭐️ anon, I love your energy!
In the case of a goldfish reader, and any other freshwater creatures that they may turn into, the family would first have to develop a fiercely protective and possessive obsession over the human half before they would become overly invested in the aquatic aspects.
It's not until the family has become yandere that they would start showing a particularly possessive interest in your freshwater form.
With a goldfish in mind, Jason wouldn’t likely exhibit a strong interest in you due to the limitations of your aquatic form. But on those rare occasions when he’s at the manor, he’ll still opt to spend time with you, enjoying your company even if you can’t do the same things he typically enjoys.
However, if Jason were able to find a way to force you into remaining in your human form with him, then he’d probably become completely fixated on keeping you by his side at all times. You’re still his Darling, yknow? It’s a pity that the rest of the fam won’t let him keep you at his house. He’d even buy a large tank for when you shift, and everything!
Tim would be delighted the thought of stealing you from the manors comedically oversized enclosure, which they had built in just for you, to swap you out for a regular fish he had bought at the nearest pet store, just to see how long it took for the rest of the family to notice.
He'd keep you in a tank on his desk, right next to all his paperwork, so that he can watch over you as he works away, taking little breaks to observe and admire you as you swim about in your watery prison.
Tim would make sure to keep the tank well-decorated and comfortable, adding in your favorite plants, stones, and trinkets to keep you entertained. Similar to the main one in the center of the manor, just with far less space.
But regardless of how pretty your tank looks, it would still feel like a prison. You're always going to be painfully aware of your confinement. Especially when the one on Tim’s desk has a lid, forcing you to stay and swim endless circles, never stopping until he feels gracious enough to let you out.
Damian treats you with extreme care. Everything must be perfect. With a sterile, immaculate tank, an ample supply of food 24/7, your health in top condition, and absolutely no signs of boredom. Even the slightest hint of loneliness will have him instantly scooping you out of the water, either forcing you to change back to spend time together, or he'll invest in a portable tank to smuggle you into his school. You'll never be left to your own devices for long, as he's always making sure that you're given all the attention that you deserve.
Damian is fully aware of how susceptible fish can be to depression, and given the somewhat abrupt manner of your kidnapping, he won’t take any chances. So, to prevent any potential psychological distress, he's extremely careful to provide you with everything you could possibly need to be happy and healthy. With ample space to swim around, a proper diet, and plenty of stimuli to keep you entertained. When you’re with him, it's as if you're living a life of unparalleled luxury, in spite of your confinement.
Although, Damian has still accidentally snatched up the counterfeit you that Tim had placed in your tank, and it was ultimately Conner who had to break the news to him that it wasn't the real you half way through the school day.
Dick, being the affectionate sibling that he is, would probably still keep you company while in your goldfish form. He'd swim about in the water with you, and find ways to interact and entertain you, such as tossing in small toys for you to play with, or placing his hands in the water to let you nuzzle against them. He's just glad that you're in a more vulnerable form, as it reminds him of when Jason was a child and how he’d missed out on the time in your life where you'd of been more receptive to his affection.
He’d probably even have special underwater equipment installed in the tank, like a communication device so that he could “talk” to you, bubbles that he could blow at you, or maybe even an intercom for music, just so he could better connect with you in your aquatic form. Dick will stop at no end to ensure that you feel loved and included, even as a fish.
It’ll be almost the same as with your human form, but instead of using words or touch, Dick will find other creative ways to pamper and spoil you, like adding special treats or fish toys to the tank, or arranging the underwater environment into a little sanctuary just for you. He’ll do everything in his power to show how much he cares, just like the affectionate big brother that he’s forced you to see him as. Just how it’s supposed to be.
The last of the family is Bruce. While the others find ways to pamper and spoil you, Bruce's interactions with you as a fish are a little more distant. He'll dutifully check in on you at least twice a day, making sure that the tank is clean and that the water quality is up to standard. But after that, he'll spend less and less time around your enclosure.
He's more comfortable when you're in human form around him, as it allows him to better understand your wellbeing. He can gauge your emotions, check if you've been eating enough, and actually see you properly, instead of just catching glimpses of your little fish body hiding behind the expensive rocks.
You're now Bruce’s child, and yet, when you’re in your goldfish form, he can't help but feel a distance between you. Perhaps it's the inability to communicate, or the way your little fish body seems to hide behind everything, but it's harder for him to truly connect with you on a deeper level. Maybe it's the cold reality of knowing that he’s keeping you in confinement, or the loss of affection, but something about your life as a fish just doesn’t sit well with him.
Link to Masterlist
Extra
#⭐️ anon#goldfish#goldfish reader#anon asks#asks open#answered asks#answered#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere dc#yandere batboys#dark batfamily#dark batfam#batboys#batfamily#batfam#x reader#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne#yandere bruce wayne#batboys x reader#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#yandere family#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batboys x reader#jaythes1mp
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Sad Conrad request. Surprising him at the beach house and being there through the hard moments with his mom
Grab your tissues, this is a sad one
Warnings: mention of cancer/death
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
—
‘’She won’t get better. It’s too late,’’ a crying Conrad said through the phone one late evening of May.
You sat up in your bed, giving him your best attention as your heart clenched.
These past few months, Susannah had been trying a new treatment for her cancer. She initially didn’t want to do it, but she would do anything for her boys. It’s been tough for her and the boys, physically and emotionally, but Susannah was a fighter. If she could beat cancer once, she could do it again, right?
Today, she had an appointment with her oncologist to see if the treatment was working. Conrad had been very stressed over it, calling you more often just to hear your reassuring words. You stayed optimistic for his sake, but you couldn’t lie to him. There were chances the treatment did not work.
‘’S-she’s gonna die.’’ His voice cracked at the last word, causing a tear to slip down your face.
That night, you almost booked a flight to Boston just to hold him in your arms.
*
When June came, you all went to Cousins’ beach for the last time. The last summer, her last summer.
On the day of the Fishers’ arrival, you sat on Conrad’s perfectly made bed and waited for him to walk through his door. It felt strange to be alone in their holiday house. Susannah had helped you plan the surprise for Conrad, mailing you a double of the keys a week before their arrival. He had been taking care of her so well during her treatment, she wanted to thank him in a special way.
You heard the door open downstairs, Conrad and Jeremiah’s voices soon filling the house. A know formed in your stomach, excited and nervous at the same time. Susannah’s voice mixed with the two, asking Conrad to take the bags upstairs.
The stairs creaked under his steps, listening as he took his mother’s bags to her room first, then his own. You held your breath as you saw the doorknob turn, soon revealing the boy you had missed so much with one bag over his shoulder and his suitcase in his other hand.
A mix of complete surprise and confusion spread on his face when he saw you sitting there on his bed.
‘’Hi.’’ You stood and a smile curled on Conrad’s lips for the first time in a while.
He dropped his bag and the suitcase’s handle and rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground. You wrapped your own arms around his neck as your legs did the same to his waist, finally in each other‘s hold.
‘’What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t be here until Sunday.’’
You pulled back slightly, pushing that one piece of hair from his pretty eyes. You missed him and the soft smile he only kept for you. ‘’I drove here two days early to surprise you.’’
‘’Consider me surprised,’’ he said, closing the space between you and kissing you for the first time since spring break. Without breaking the kiss, Conrad took you to his bed, toppling on it in a mess of tangled limbs. ‘’How did you get in? Did you pick our backdoor?’’
‘’Susannah.’’
His eyebrows drew closer. ‘’My mom?’’
You nodded.
For a very short moment, Conrad was happy. And it was all because of you — with the help of Susannah.
*
As the summer went by, and Conrad was turning into a shell of his person. He was barely ever leaving the beach house or his mother’s side, wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before the end.
Since her last scan, the cancer had spread. She was getting more sick each day, becoming more tired and frail every time you saw her. Her blond hair was gone, replaced by a bandana that covered her bald head.
It was sad to watch.
‘’I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if my mom’s not there?’’ Conrad asked one night you were sitting on the back porch, his feet dipped in the pool water.
‘’You can talk to me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’’ You put your hand on his shoulders and he started to sob as you felt your own tears blurring your vision.
‘’She’s too young to die. She’ll never come to my college graduation or Jere’s high school graduation.’’
A few weeks later, you and Conrad were watching a movie in the living room, when Susannah came to get a glass of water. Conrad had fallen asleep against you, too tired to stay up late like he used to these days. You asked if she needed your help, but she smiled and said she was okay.
Before going back to her room, she came to the living room and put her hand on your arm. ‘’Thank you for being there for Connie. He doesn’t say, but he’s taking it the hardest. When I… He’s gonna take it the hardest.’’ She looked down at her son, a sad smile on her lips and tears welling in her eyes. ‘’Please take care of him.’’
*
When Susannah took her last breath, the weather was gloomy and dark outside, reflecting perfectly the feeling of the coming weeks.
You got the call at 3am and drove down to Boston, to the Fishers’ home. A red-eyed teary Jeremiah answered the door. You gave him a long hug, then headed to Conrad’s room. Laurel and her kids were there, all grieving the loss of a close friend — a non-blood-related family member.
As you entered Conrad's room, the somber atmosphere weighed heavily. The curtains were shut, plunging the room into semi-darkness, illuminated by the smallest crack of light coming from the top of the window. On the bed was Conrad, still in his clothes from last night, crying in silence and holding the old shark plushie his mother got him as a child. It had seen better days and was missing one eye, he hadn’t let go of it since coming home from the hospital.
His shoulders stiffened when he heard the door opening, about to rudely shoo out whoever had come to check on him, but relaxed when he saw you. Your hair was gathered in a loose ponytail, strands framing your face, and your shirt was an old one of Conrad’s, but none of that mattered to him. There was no one else he wanted to see beside his mom than you.
Lifting his head from the shark plushie, the steady flow of tears on his face. breaking your heart. His blue eyes, once vibrant, were now red and swollen from hours of crying, just like his brother’s.
You opened your mouth to speak, but words seemed inadequate in the face of such profound loss. So you said nothing.
You laid with him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and pulling him into you like you had done these past months. The second his face met your chest, his sobs filled the room, finally allowing himself to let go now that you were there to catch him.
Rare were the times you had seen Conrad, but it was heartbreaking every time. You rubbed circles around his back and rested your cheek on his head, feeling his tears soak your shirt as he cried, silent tears falling from your own eyes.
You stayed like that for what felt like hours — just the two of you laying on his bed. Laurel didn’t bother checking on him, knowing he was well taken after with you. It was a weight off her shoulders, one less thing she needed to worry about.
As the night was starting to fall outside, you felt Conrad's breathing even out, telling you he had fallen asleep. You didn't know how long he had been up for, but he must've been exhausted — in every way.
You carefully reached out to grab the soft blanket from behind him, trying to not wake him, but Conrad tightened his grip on you as he sensed your movement, afraid of losing the anchor that kept him grounded.
‘’Don’t leave me too,’’ he mumbled, his voice so small and weak you didn't hear it.
You stayed still, frozen by his words. The vulnerability in his voice pierced your heart, and you realized that even in his sleep, his fear of abandonment lingered.
Gently, you brushed your fingers through his hair, softly whispering back to him in reassurance. ‘’I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'll be right here when you wake up.’’
You vowed to be there for him, to support him through the darkest hours of his journey, and you planned on keeping that promise you made to Susannah, even if it meant staying up all night holding him or skipping a few days of classes at college.
With great care, you shifted your position, sliding out from under him just enough to reach the blanket. As you draped it over both of you, he instinctively clung tighter to you, seeking the comfort of your presence.
—
All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713 @marzipaanz @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart @xyzstar @graceberman3 @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi @hallecarey1
#conrad fisher imagine#conrad fisher#conrad fisher x reader#conrad fisher fanfic#conrad fisher x you#the summer i turned pretty#the summer i turned pretty imagine
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Maybe I'd you're still interested in the endgame type stuff, Natasha it's the first time of her actually being sick since the red room and everything so maybe shes the opposite of what we'd expect, instead of stifled and reserved and R finds this really adorable because it's very contrasting her usual self
This idea is so unique, I love it!
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“Good morning,” you whispered, snuggling into your girlfriend’s back, laying your arm around her waist. You nuzzled your nose into her hair, before moving it aside and kissing the back of her neck.
“Morning.”
“Sleep well?” you asked, feeling relaxed and ready to begin your day. It was the first time in days that the two of you had actually slept more than two hours. You’d been working nonstop on trying to bring everybody back, and the exhaustion had finally gotten to the both of you last night.
“Mhmmm.”
“I’ll start coffee,” you murmured, kissing the back of Nat’s neck before getting out of bed. As soon as you’d left, Natasha flopped onto her back and furrowed her brow. She felt... off. She couldn't quite describe it but something didn’t feel right. Shaking her head as if to clear it, Nat sighed and then got up after you.
Arms wrapped around your waist from behind and you relaxed into your girlfriend’s touch. She was normally not so affectionate, so you reveled in every touch. When her arms pulled away suddenly, you frowned, until you realized why.
“h’htsSCHoo! hh’tschioo!”
“Bless you,” you acknowledged, turning and furrowing your brows. It was unheard of for Natasha to sneeze like that. Normally she was so.... reserved and in control, and it seemed as though she had none for that outburst.
“Sorry,” she muttered, seemingly confused at herself. Her nose twitched and she took an experimental sniff, sending her breath hitching.
“Huh-h’h...”
You waited to see whether or not she’d sneeze again, your brain already thinking she had to be allergic to something. But it’s not as if you’d done anything new or bought anything new. Perhaps this was simply a rare occasion.
“h’mphhshioo!”
“Bless you, Natasha. What is going on?”
After she was certain she wouldn’t sneeze again, your girlfriend took an experimental sniff, annoyed when finding congestion.
“I don’t know.”
“Are you allergic to something?”
“No, we haven’t done anything new and I haven’t been anywhere.”
“Are you sick?”
“I haven’t gotten sick since the Red Room,” she answered, ready for the conversation to be over.
You didn’t answer, but let your mind wander as you focused back on the coffee. When she groaned from behind you less than a second later, you turned expecting an answer.
“It won’t st-h’h- stop.”
“Your nose?”
She nodded, scrubbing at it. “I’ve never had to sneeze so bad.”
“So sneeze,” you chuckled, causing her to open her eyes and glare at you.
“I would if... h’h.. heh’h-h’hh.... I thought I was going to.”
“Did you get something up your nose?”
She shook her head, her mouth opening as her breath hitched again. Growing frustrated, Natasha looked up towards the lights, which seemed to do the trick. Her eyes shut as her breath came in short gasps, her nostrils flaring, before she sent yet another sneeze into her elbow.
"Bless. you. You're worrying me."
Nat gave a stuffy sigh, moving to grab a tissue from the box. After a quick congested blow, she washed her hands and leaned against the counter.
"I feel off," she mumbled.
You chuckled. "Really, I couldn't tell."
She sent you an unamused look. You quickly apologized, not wanting her to feel a certain way about her show of vulnerability.
"My love," you cooed, pulling her in for a hug. "Perhaps you are sick."
The redhead woman squeezed you before stepping out of your embrace and clearing her throat. You traced a finger along her jawline.
"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you."
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Christmas Time is Here {Angus Tully x Reader}
Summary: Christmas (FINALLY) has arrived! What better way to spend the day full of cheer than with your family (and the boy you previously didn't really care for until just a few days prior). It'd be better if you could spend it in Boston as well...
Part 7 of ?? (Masterlist)
Warnings: Making out, swearing, talk of sex, and jokes about pimping out one's father.
Heyyyyyyy, what's uppppp, it's meeeeee. So...okay, long story short, I got back from strudying abroad and have been using this summer to just readjust to America (it's been rough, low key). So I just want to apologize for the long wait, and I hope this chapter is worth it. Also, because the main characters in this story (reader and Angus) are minors, I WILL NOT be adding smut. Still, thank you guys so much for your patience!
Word Count: 6.4k
youtube
You thought you slept in at first, until you glanced at the clock on the nightstand and read ‘7:30am’. Groaning, you sat up, rubbing your face when the realization hit you: It was Christmas!
That’s what caused you to leap out of your bed and immediately look under it, pulling out the three horribly wrapped gifts in newspapers tied with a twine ribbon. Before you could do anything else, a light knock on the doorway made you flinch.
“Yeah?” You whispered.
“Are you decent?”
Giggling at Angus’ use of your words from last night, you said. “Not really, I’m still in my pajamas.”
“Get dressed, I wanna show you something.”
You snorted. “You’re not gonna kill me or something, are you?”
“No, but on an unrelated note, we’re going off campus.”
“Wait,” your face dropped. “seriously?”
He snickered. “No. It’s just in the theater.”
You shook your head. “Okay, I’ll meet you in the hall.”
His footsteps echoed outside, and you decided to give him his gift early. After changing into a long-sleeved shirt and pants, then your socks and boots, you slipped out of the door whilst hiding the present behind your back.
“What’s behind your back?” Angus immediately asked once he saw you.
“Merry Christmas to you too.” You teased. “It’s nothing.”
“Amy…”
Sighing overdramatically, you held out the gift. His eyes grew to the size of the moon (both things that you still think are beautiful) as he took it from you. “I…what is this?”
“Well,” you shrugged. “it’s a present, but you kind of have to open it to-.”
“-No, I mean…I didn’t get you anything.”
“That’s okay, I don’t want anything.”
“Hey-.”
“-Ordinary people say ‘thank you’ and open the damn thing.” You smirked.
He mirrored your expression before tearing the newspapers. It was almost funny to you how Angus Tully looked as if his breath was stolen from his lungs just at the sight of Little Women in his hands.
“This is yours.”
“Well, it’s yours now. That’s kind of how gifts work.”
“It’s your favorite though.”
“Who told you it’s my favorite?” You tilted your head, as if challenging him.
You’d never seen a face whiter than the snow outside. “I-I, um, shit.”
“No,” you shook your head. “you’re telling me you kiss me so hard my lips turned blue in the kitchen-!”
“-Hey, hey! Shut up!” He tried to be serious but only ended up laughing.
“But you can’t remember what my favorite book is?!”
Taking a deep breath, Angus then said. “I’m sorry, okay?”
A smile pulled onto your lips. “Yeah, I’m just messing with you.”
“You’re horrible.”
“Thank you.” A giggle fell from you. “Oh god, I hope my dad didn’t hear that.”
“I checked his bed, he’s out somewhere.”
“Alright,” you shrugged. “escort me to the theater then.”
He grinned from ear to ear as he led you through the halls. Unashamedly, you were a bit disappointed; you wished he’d taken your hand. Still, despite the sun being out, to your knowledge, you were the only two people awake. You wouldn’t blame Mary for sleeping in, and it was Christmas, no way Danny would waste his time with you three; that man had family in Worcester.
When you and Angus made it to the theater, you both walked up the steps to the stage and after he set the book down on the floor, he leaned against the piano.
You crossed your arms, smirking. “Mr. Tully, you better not serenade me.”
“I’m not singing.” He tried not to smile.
“So, there is a God.”
“Quit it.” He snickered. “Sit down, I’m gonna teach you how to play the piano.”
Raising your brow, you said. “You told me you hadn’t played since you were ten.”
“I hadn’t taken lessons since I was ten. We have a piano back at home, so I still play sometimes.”
“Never here?”
“Never here. Come on.” he tilted his head to the bench.
Rolling your eyes, you sat down, placing your hands on the keys. Angus came to stand beside you. “Okay, you know the alphabet?”
“What the hell is that?”
“Perfect.” He scoffed, then pointed to the white keys. “So, you only have to know ‘A’ to ‘G’. If this,” he pressed the white key in the middle of the piano between two black keys. “is ‘D’, then what is this?” He hovered his finger above the white key to the right of it.
“E.” You said simply. “I do know that this ‘B’ key is out of tuned though.”
You reached over his arm and played the ‘C’ an octave above, bringing your face just a little closer to his. He smiled. “Okay smartass, you do know what the alphabet it.”
“Yeah, I just don’t know how to play anything, that’s all.”
Angus took your right hand in his hand (fucking finally), and brought your fingers to play the ‘E’ and ‘D#’ a few times before then ‘B’, ‘D’, ‘C’, and ‘A’.
“Know that one?” He asked.
“‘Fur Elise’.” You grinned at the name. “And you’re sure you wish I was your first kiss?”
He answered plain and simple. “I’m sure.”
“Okay,” you decided to keep toying with him. “what comes next? And I’m pretty sure I have to use my other hand at some point.”
You expected a retort from him, but he only went behind you and grabbed your left hand. Gently, he pressed his fingers over yours, and guided you to slowly play the piece by Beethoven. It was peaceful to say the least; well, as peaceful as it could be while your heart was trying to beat itself out of your chest.
As his chest hovered against your back, you decided to soothe your own worries.
“Son of a bitch, you just wanted to hold my hand!” You teased.
The music stopped as he pressed his face against your shoulder while laughing. It should’ve made you uneasy how just at ease he was around you; but perhaps you both had already acted like this before you kissed. Perhaps, with only being around him for a week, you had come to know him as a close friend (even with how much you loathed him at first).
He took his head off your shoulder and looked at you, his nose practically against yours. “And what if I did?”
This was the part where you were supposed to say something smart in return and make him feel just a bit stupid. But…were his eyes always that brown and beautiful?
You were just a girl; no one should blame you for immediately throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him.
Luckily, unlike the night before, he was less surprised this time. His arms were around your waist, and whether he meant to or not, he pulled you down to the floor with him when his own legs gave out.
Still, even though the sudden shift of your body caused you to squeak out in surprise, your lips didn’t leave his as your hands soon carded through his hair, and his moved further down your hips.
“I don’t want to do anything more,” you said quickly between kisses. “I don’t want to do anything more!”
His lips moved down to your neck, one of his hands came back up to cradle your jaw tenderly. “Me neither.”
“Okay.” You answered, your voice slightly pitched as he kissed your neck. Angus laid you down as softly as he could on the stage and hovered above you; his kisses never leaving your skin. His hand found yours and held it above your head as he brought his lips back up to yours. Even with it being clumsy, nothing in your whole life had felt so…good.
You wondered just how anyone on earth could get anything done after being kissed like this for the first time.
Perhaps it is because they hear their father calling their name.
At the sound of your father’s voice echoing through the halls, you and Angus froze. With one look, you both immediately pulled away, and he got off you, sitting on the piano bench and putting his hands on the keys.
It was quite comedic how that was the first time you heard him play; and he was quite good at it.
Luckily, you managed to get up and lean against the piano the moment the door to the auditorium opened and soon slammed shut. Angus stopped playing, and you both looked up and saw your father, huffing as if to catch his breath from running around everywhere.
“Merry Christmas.” Were his first words, and after both you and Angus repeated his sentiment, he then asked. “Where the hell have you been?”
You shrugged. “Just here.”
His eyes traveled to you and then to Angus, who, like any nervous teen boy who’d nearly been caught after making out with the teacher’s daughter, waved. Your father simply nodded. “Well, come on. I have something to show you two.”
He left through the doors he came in, and after you and Angus glanced at each other, you both followed; Angus picking up the book of course. Your father took you both to the dining hall where Mary had been waiting, and proudly presented a frankly shabby Christmas tree with some wrapped gifts to you.
“No ornaments?” Angus asked.
“Oh,” your father sighed. “I’m sure we can round up some ornaments somewhere. Uh, now.” He picked up one of the gifts, handing it to Angus. “This is for you.”
The boy glanced up at him as if he handed him the best thing he could receive that day (next to your copy of Little Women of course). He tore it open, and it was revealed to be another book.
“‘Meditations.’” Your father read the title. “by Marcus Aurelius. For my money, it’s like the Bible, the Koran and the Bhagavad Gita all rolled up into one. And the best part is not one mention of God.”
Mary huffed, obviously not a fan.
“And this,” he handed her the other package under the tree. “is for you.”
She opened it, revealing another book of ‘Meditations’. “So, you just give this to everyone?”
“And.” He gave her the other gift under the tree; that being a horribly wrapped bottle of whiskey.
That got her to smile wide as she took it. Your father, grabbing the final package under the tree, then handed it to you. “Yes, it’s a book, no, it’s not ‘Meditations’.”
Smiling, you unwrapped it and stood absolutely still in shock before exploding into a cheer. “Where did you get this?! I couldn’t find even in Boston!”
“The day trip we took to New York for Thanksgiving? Found it while you wandered off in the bookstore.” He joked.
Rolling your eyes, you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face if you tried.
“What is it?” Angus asked, looking over your shoulder.
“Maria,” you answered. “by Mary Wollstonecraft. She’s Mary Shelley’s mom.”
“Like, Frankenstein Mary Shelley?”
Oh, how much you wanted to kiss him just because he knew the author of a popular book. Still, you didn’t know how many men even knew a woman wrote one of the most iconic stories of all time. Still, your father and closest woman you had to a mother in years were watching you, so you settled on shoving him.
“That’s right; maybe you’re not that stupid.” Before he could verbally respond, you were almost out the door. “I got something for you guys, be right back!”
You felt like a little girl again as you ran through the halls and up the stairs into the infirmary room before taking the shittly wrapped presents off your bed. You slid down the main staircase railing before barging back into the dining hall where it looked like barely anything had changed.
“What was my time?” You asked your father, a huge smile on your face.
He gave a look. “You didn’t ask us to time you.”
“Happy Christmas.” You handed him his gift, then repeated the same action and sentiment to Mary.
Your father was the first one to open his, and a pleasant smile spread upon his face while holding it up to you; a coloring book of ancient Rome.
“How’d you know I wanted this?” He joked. He had perhaps almost every single book on Roman history, so you had to get creative.
You shrugged. “Oh, you wouldn’t stop talking about it, remember?”
Mary opened hers next, grinning from ear to ear once it was unwrapped. A pink pocket-sized prayer book. “How’d you know I lost mine?”
“Because you told me.”
She hugged you, pinching your cheek when she pulled away. “You’re an angel.”
“Oh, Angus,” Your father took the forgotten envelope out from under the tree, handing it to the boy beside you. “this came in the mail for you.”
He opened it, and glancing over his arm, you saw cash stuffed inside of the card with “Greetings of the Season and Best Wishes for a Happy New Year” printed inside, with the only written words being: “Love, Mom and Stanley.” Not any personalized notes or words of adoration anywhere to be found.
You wanted to squeeze his hand, give him any traditional sense of comfort; yet you weren’t ready to explain to your father and mother figure about the both of you…you weren’t dating, but you were something. So, instead, you merely pushed yourself against his side and acted annoying.
“Fuck, you’re loaded.” Mary scoldingly said your name, but you continued. “Well, he is! Yeesh, you should be paying off my father’s retirement if you hate him that much.”
“Merry Christmas to you too, Emma Woodhouse.” You father rolled his eyes.
Angus, fortunately, snorted. “I’ll think about it.”
“Alright,” Mary placed her hands on her hips. “now who’s hungry?”
As usual, the four of you had a lovely breakfast; although, this time, per Christmas tradition, you each had a little piece of chocolate with your pancakes she made. When helping her with the dishes, you saw that only one Christmas cookie you left out the night prior had remained.
When the dishes were done, you and Mary pulled the men into the teacher’s lounge.
“So why are we being held against out will?” Angus joked.
Your father sighed. “It’s almost ten-thirty.”
“And?”
“Charlie Brown!” You cheered, plopping yourself down on the carpet in front of the TV to turn it on.
“It’s the one tradition we have each Christmas,” your father explained and lowered his voice to Angus and Mary. “and one I wouldn’t mind getting rid of.”
“If you want to go drink alone while reading Agatha Christie, go ahead.” You announced, not turning to look at him as you flipped through the channels.
Mary and Angus merely laughed, and you proudly sat down on the couch. Your father mumbled incoherently, but before he could take a seat beside you, Mary grabbed his arm.
“Now, now, come help me make popcorn for the movie.”
Sighing, he let her lead him out of the teacher’s lounge and into the kitchen. Angus soon sat where your father would’ve if not for Mary. You smiled.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” He grinned, and there was silence (as always) between the two of you. One that was broken with. “Thank you.”
You tilted your head. “What for?”
“Just…” He laughed. “for liking me I guess. Also, for what you said about the stupid card and everything.”
Smiling, you glanced up to see if your father and Mary were close by. When you determined they weren’t, you took his face into your hands and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
“You don’t have to thank me for that, dumbass.” You pulled away, looking back at the movie as little children start to sing Christmas Time is Here. “Just don’t bitch for the rest of the day.”
He snorted. “I’ll try my best.”
And he did. The four of you watched the movie, and after that, you and Angus went back up to the infirmary and spent the rest of the afternoon reading. Definitely not kissing at all; for sure not.
When you weren’t reading, you were either talking about stupid shit-.
“I thought I heard somewhere that plants can feel pain, do you think that’s true?” You asked, looking up at him while you laid at the end of his bed, your feet by his head.
“…I just want to thank you for letting me peek inside your mind and to see how weird it is.”
Or, surprisingly emotional conversations.
Angus nodded as he laid on the bed, you at his side. “Yeah, I mean…I had a good childhood, it just felt…weird sometimes.”
“I get it.” You rested your head on his shoulder as you both stared at the ceiling.
Still, it was perhaps the longest and most intimate interaction you ever had with a person up until then. How strange it was with a boy you hated only days ago.
Hours later, Mary called you both down for supper (luckily what was reheated from the previous night), and despite there only being four of you, you felt less lonely than when you had at the party. You sat beside Mary, not minding when the smoke of her cigarette tickled your nose.
“Thank you Mary,” your father smiled at her once he was finished. “that was just lovely.”
“Oh, is that an actual compliment?” You never heard Mary sound so surprised. He sighed heavily, and you didn’t bother holding back your laughter.
Angus set down his silverware. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a real family Christmas like this. Christmas dinner, I mean, family style, out of the oven, all the trimmings. My mom always just orders in from Delmonico’s.”
Mary nodded. “She’s got the right idea. Next year, I’m ordering from Delmonico’s.”
“Anyway, thank you, Mary.”
She winked at him, then turned to you. “Well? You got something to say?”
You squinted your eyes mid-chew. After swallowing, you replied with. “The meat’s a bit raw, don’t you think?”
“Oh, none of that today!” She scolded you as everyone else giggled. “Ungrateful child on Christmas.”
“It’s great, Mary.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Your father rose a glass. “I’d like to propose a toast. To my two unlikely companions on this snowy island, to my lovely daughter, and to our absent friends and family.” There was a pause much obviously for your mother and Curtis as if they were at the table with you. “I realize that none of us is here because he or she wants to be, so if there’s anything I can do to make the holidays a little cheerier for any of you, just say the word.”
“Copenhagen.” You didn’t miss a beat.
“Try again next year, Josephine.”
Angus shrugged. “Boston.”
“Boston?” Your father wrinkled his nose. “Why?”
“Why not? I want a real Christmas. I want to go ice skating. I want to see a real Christmas tree with ornaments, not that stupid thing.”
That was what you couldn’t take (as a joke, obviously). “How dare you. You put some respect on that tree my father grew with his blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids.”
Whilst the adults groaned your name in disgust, Angus stared down at his plate, his body trembling with repressed laughter.
“You both said it was nice.” Your father reencountered.
“It is nice.” Mary defended.
Angus, after recovering from his amusement, continued. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Let’s have a real holiday.”
Your father huffed. “We’re not going to Boston. It’s out of the question.”
“You just told the kids ‘anything’. So, if Copenhagen doesn’t work, then why not Boston?” Mary argued.
“Mary, we’re not allowed to leave campus or the immediate environs.”
Well, it was your moment to shine. Now, here’s the trick: Usually, the ‘puppy dog eyes’ only work on parents from the ages of birth to nine. Sometimes, but not in your case, it can go on longer into the early 30s (that is, if your parents are total pushovers, or you’re a master manipulator). So, what do you do instead? Well, if it’s with your father, you do this:
Glance at him one last time as if to make a final plea, but then act as if you already know the answer and look down as if you’re trying not to show your sadness. You cannot be angry at all, just sad and disappointed so that he can assume you’re judging all of his life choices that he had made previously to lead him to this.
…It’s not easy, but it certainly gets you what you want (…there was like a 76% success rate last time you calculated it).
“But,” your father sighed upon looking at you and Angus. “I suppose we could call it a field trip. A field trip would fall under the ambit of additional academic pursuits. There’s even a fund set aside for additional academic pursuits.”
Despite him looking annoyed, you had a feeling deep down, he wouldn’t mind getting out of Barton. Angus gleefully rose out of his chair.
“I’ll go pack!”
You knew you couldn’t chase after him excitedly, so instead, you focused on your father.
“Now wait a minute,” you scowled. “so you not only listened but also let him persuade you into having us go to Boston, but you didn’t even bother with Copenhagen? That’s really sexist of you.”
He sighed, exhaustedly saying your name. “You’re a smart girl, so you should know that there’s a difference between a ten-hour flight across the world, and a-!” Of course he stopped when he saw your shit eating grin. “…and you’re a smart girl because you played me like a fiddle.”
Grinning from ear to ear, you got up from your seat and wrapped your arms around him, kissing his cheek. “Thank you, papa!”
He waved you off with a smile as you gathered up your dishes and glass, then went into the kitchen and placing them in the sink. You dashed up the stairs to the infirmary, to which you were greeted by Angus’ arms entrapping you.
Laughing, you reciprocated. “Why’re you like this?”
“I’m just happy, is that so shocking?”
“Yes.”
He pulled away only to then cup your cheeks in his hands and bring your lips to his. You sigh into his mouth, kissing him back.
“Does it ever stop?” You asked between kisses.
“What?” He led you to lie on the bed.
“You kissing me all the time."
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Don’t you dare.” You meekly threatened, pulling him back down.
Neither of you started packing for another fifteen minutes; not until you heard your father’s footsteps in the hallway.
You surprised yourself by how well you slept that night. Usually, before an exciting day, you are restless. Yet, you actually jumped out of bed to get ready once your father came in to wake you up.
After a quick breakfast and an hour of waiting, the four of you were in the car on the way to Boston. A curse that you never thought possible is that you could not read in the car without throwing up; so, that forced Angus to read aloud (something that wasn’t a curse).
“‘That boy is a perfect Cyclops, isn’t he?’ said Amy.”
“That’s not what Amy sounds like.” You said matter of factly, laying almost flat in the backseat.
Angus sighed. “Well, she does today.”
“Mr. Tully,” your father looked in the rearview mirror. “is she implying that Amy usually sounds different?”
You grinned. “Yes I am.”
“Oh?” Mary arched her brow in interest.
“I’m not doing a voice.” Angus immediately retaliated.
Sighing dramatically, you stuck your bottom lip out. “Just this one line? Please?”
He stared at you as if you had him under a spell; either that, or your face was a monstrosity so terrible he couldn’t look away. It’s nice to think the first one. So, breathing heavily through his nose, he pitched his voice up.
“‘That boy ith a perfect thyclops, ithn’t he?’ said Amy.”
Needless to say, the car erupted into laughter.
You can’t quite remember what else was discussed between the four of you on that long drive. All you can recall is that you never once felt sorrow or pain from your mother’s absence. It was…lovely actually.
Soon, the car stopped outside Peggy Lamb’s triple decker apartment in Roxbury neighborhood. You hadn’t been there since you were thirteen for Thanksgiving. When, after your mother passed, Mary and Curtis invited both you and your father to dinner for the holiday. Then, just all of a sudden (much like Miss Crane’s Christmas parties), you stopped going.
“Here we are.” Mary announced.
“That’s an awful lot of stairs…” Your father trailed off.
“Probably icy too…”
Nope, not going to give your kissing buddy (what was Angus Tully to you? What were you to him?) a clue.
“Mr. Tully.”
“Right.” He nodded once he finally took the hint from your dad. He smiled. “Mary, can I help you with your bags?”
“Yes, please.” She smiled, and Angus got out of the car.
You leaned against Mary’s seat. “Mary, may I help you with your bags.”
“You may.”
You heard your father prod at just why you would want to go into the cold air and help Angus carry the bags but paid him no mind. You did though when it was Angus who asked.
“What’re you doing out here?” He popped the trunk.
“Mary asked me to help too.” You pulled out the large suitcase with all your strength. “She knew your noodle arms couldn’t handle it all.”
Scoffing, he took the hatbox and closed the trunk. “Seems like you’re handling it perfectly.”
“Of course, I am.” You did your best to hide the ache in your arms already forming as you led the way.
Mary, with her window rolled down, stopped you at the foot of the stairs. “Hey, why’s she carrying the suitcase?”
“She said she could handle it.” Angus replied.
“That’s not very gentlemanly of you.”
“Yeah, Angus.” You taunted as if him only carrying the box was his idea.
This was certainly not the first nor the last time you’d make his jaw drop from your wittiness. Sighing, he held out his hand for the suitcase, and you traded it for the hatbox.
“And be careful with the box,” Mary called your name. “Knowing you, you’ll drop it.”
You just stuck your tongue out playfully and continued up the stairs, Angus lugging the suitcase. “What do you think she packed in here, rocks?”
“I’d tell you, but you’d make a joke about how much women need to pack even though ‘We’re only here for a few days’.” You said in an accent that any man with low self-esteem would deem offensive.
He scoffed, stopping on the first floor. “Yeah, maybe.”
You tutted. “Ah, ah, ah, one more floor up.”
“What?”
“Peggy lives on the top floor.”
Angus sighed all the air that was left in his body before taking a deep breath. “I should’ve let you carry the damn bag.”
“But ya didn’t.” You smirked, leading him, once again, up the stairs.
When you both finally got to the top, you didn’t even need to knock on the door before Peggy and her husband came out to greet you.
“Oh, my goodness!” Peggy wrapped her arms around you once you set the box down. “It’s been too long.”
You laughed, hugging her back. “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”
She pulled away, but still holding your arms. “Never apologize, honey. And who’s this with you?”
Obviously, she was looking at the scraggly, 6’1 white boy behind you. Still, smiling, you introduced him.
“Angus; he goes to school at Barton and has been spending the holidays with us.”
“Aw,” Peggy shook his hand. “it’s nice to meet you.”
He nodded, grinning. “Nice to meet you too.”
“So,” she looked at you. “where’s that sister of mine?”
You tilted your head over ledge, and she and her husband walked over, waving and calling Mary’s name. Peggy turned back to you.
“Well, it’s been great seeing you again. If you ever need anything, you’re always welcome here.”
You nodded, smiling unwavering. “I’ll keep that in mind. Have a Happy New Year.”
She repeated the pleasantries and hugged you one final time before you and Angus started descending the stairs. When you passed by Mary, wishing her goodbye, she stopped you.
“Not yet, now you’ve gotta help me up there.”
“Oh yeah,” Angus offered her his arm. “sure thing.”
You resisted. “I already said hi to Peggy, am I excused?”
“I guess so.” She sighed as if you annoyed her.
Happy with her answer, you hugged her tightly and rushed into the front seat of the car, enjoying the warmth. In the corner of your eye, you saw your father arch his.
“You and Mr. Tully seem to be getting along finally.”
Glancing over, you nodded. “Yeah. He’s still a bit of an ass, but he’s not so bad.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Time.” You shrugged, hoping your years of (somewhat) lying paid off. “I guess forcing us together for a week in the cold really helps.”
He hummed, turning back to look at the front as if there was anything eye-catching about the road. Thankfully, it didn’t take Angus that long to walk Mary up the stairs, and he was soon in the back of the car.
Your father drove into the city centre of Boston, and parked outside of the hotel you three would be staying at. Of course, you had a room all to yourself (although, you only had a single bed and not a twin, but you were happy nonetheless).
After twenty minutes of getting situated, the three of you went out to explore the city (a city the three of you had been to multiple times but was still just as beautiful as the first day you saw it). You went through more parks you could count, streets that almost all looked the same but still something unique about each of them; it was just nice enough to walk and talk with your companions.
“Alright,” your father lit his pipe after the three of you had lunch. “it’s about one-thirty right now, what’s one thing everyone want to do today?”
“I have two things.” You said.
“One for now, Josephine.”
“Brattle’s Books.”
“Very good, even though you already have too many. Mr. Tully, what about you?”
He shrugged. “Just ice skating, honestly.”
“Wow.” your father released his breath. “I must say, I am impressed with how simple both your suggestions are.”
“What do you wanna do?” You asked.
“The Museum of Fine Arts, of course.” He began walking. You and Angus sighed as if it was the worst convenience in the world. Your father defended. “Oh, quit your bellyaching, both of you! This is still technically a field trip. Okay, what’s the second thing you want to do?” He asked you.
“A milkshake and fries.”
“That’s it?” He wrinkled his nose. “That disgusting concoction, is it?”
“Yes, and it’s not disgusting, you’re just a picky eater.”
Angus chimed in. “It doesn’t sound that appealing.”
“Who asked you?” You questioned.
Your argument ended there as the three of you made the journey to Brattle’s Book Store. Just as you did in the car, you talked about nothing and everything at the same time; perhaps that’s why those little moments of transitioning matter the most to you.
When you made it to Brattle’s, you spent a little time inside the actual store, but more of it outside in the large empty space between the two buildings. It was like it was another floor on the old bookstore, several upon several shelves hugging the walls, and smaller ones creating aisles on the floor.
You primarily were by yourself, keeping a mental list of more books to buy for later, and lose yourself quickly in between the pages and old smell of them. You hadn’t even noticed it’d begun to snow until Angus was beside you.
“So, you’re telling me it couldn’t have snowed all the times we were indoors?” He joked.
You looked up. “Of course not, God’s angry at us.”
“Why?”
Smirking, you nudged him. “Kissing outside of wedlock.”
“The worst of all sins.” He played along.
“Above heresy, even.”
“Hi there handsome,” a woman’s voice penetrated the air. “got a cigarette?”
Neither of you wanted to turn around to see who she was talking to (or acknowledge her if she was talking to Angus). So, communicating with just one look, you stayed put.
“No, sorry. I smoke a pipe.”
Well, so much for staying still. At the sound of your father’s answer, both you and Angus turned slowly. A woman with red hair tied up in a messy bun wearing the ugliest shade of yellow and a raggedy fur coat graced your presence.
“How about a date, then?” She tried again. “You want a date?”
“No thank you.” He took the pipe out, smiling nervously.
“Oh, come on, let’s go somewhere warm!”
“Go ahead.” Angus teased. “We can wait here.”
Jaw on the floor, you couldn’t even say anything at first.
“See?” The woman stuck her hands in her pockets. “They can wait here, read some books. They don’t mind if daddy gets a little candy cane.”
“Thank you, but I never really liked candy canes.” Your father picked up a book. “Plus, I’m prediabetic.”
She scowled, and turned over her shoulder, leaving. Angus leaned over the bookshelf in between the two of you and your father.
“You know, if you do want a little candy cane, I won’t tell anyone.”
You swatted him, finally. “Stop trying to pimp out my father, you…you…”
“What?” He grinned from ear to ear. “What am I?”
“Papa, cover your ears.” You looked at him.
“Mister Tully,” he said instead. “for most people, sex is ninety-nine percent friction and one percent good-will. Call me old fashioned, but I place value on physical intimacy, and so should you two.”
“I never-!”
“-You know,” Angus interrupted. “if it wasn’t for your kid in front of me right now, I would’ve thought you never had sex.”
Again, you struck him; this time, enough to leave a bruise.
“Ow!” He cradled his arm.
“You know,” you used his words. “if it wasn’t for your mom sending you to private school, I would’ve thought you were a cheap, common whore.”
Instead of scolding you, your father laughed. It’s not as if he never did, it was always just...a rarity and almost a blessing to hear him be so carefree.
“Mr. Tully, cover my daughter’s ears, would you?”
Angus followed through and you let him.
“Believe it or not,” your father continued. “there was a time when the fire in my loins burned white hot.”
“You’re full of shit.” Angus snickered.
“No, the details would curl your toes.”
“Okay, then let’s hear.”
He shook his head. “Whatever happened between my wife and I is none of your business; especially our daughter’s.”
“She can’t hear anything.”
“Yes, I can.”
His hands left your ears, leading both men to laugh. Nothing more was (thankfully) said about your father and mother’s sex life. It was after another ten minutes outside when your father announced it was time to go; not before having to use the bookstore’s bathroom. So, that left you and Agnus by yourselves for the first time since arriving.
“You’re horrible.” You playfully kicked his feet.
“You hit me!”
“You deserved it. God, you’re such a man.”
He didn’t respond verbally. Instead, with a smile, he reached into his coat pocket and brought something out. In his hands, he held a somewhat worn copy of The Little Prince, and two different colored ribbons.
Freezing where you stood, you could only stare at them. “What’s this?”
“Merry Christmas.”
Looking up at him, your parted lips couldn’t form words to express just the…surprise of it all. So, Angus continued.
“I bought it; the book at least. I found it inside, asked your dad for the money so I could get it for you, and that was it. The-the ribbons, I got one that was your favorite color, but then I remembered my mom would talk about how there’s some colors that look better in a girl’s hair, so I got one I thought-.”
You threw your arms around Angus and held him so close to you people would think you were using him for warmth. He froze at first before immediately melting into your embrace. You brought his face down to yours, kissing the tip of his nose before pulling away and taking the gifts into your hands.
“Holy shit…you’re too sweet.” You giggled, flipping through the book.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “So, you like it?”
“I love it, you idiot.”
“And if you find the book at your house when you go back-.”
“-I’ll keep this one too.” you cut him off. “You’re thoughtful, you know that?”
Angus stuck his hands in his pockets, kicking the snow at his feet. “It’s nothing.”
“Fuck you, it’s everything.”
“Well,” he shrugged, smiling. “since you said it so eloquently.”
You rolled your eyes with a playful grin, then held up the colored ribbon he deemed (and was correct about) would look good in your hair. “Can you put this one on, please?”
“Uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat. “sure.”
You handed it to him, turning around. It wasn’t the first time he put his hands in your hair, but this time, with your back to him, it felt strange. Strange in a good way, but perhaps there wasn’t anything sensual about it, it felt that way.
And it was nice.
The feeling of it anyway; other than that, he had no idea what he was doing.
“What do you want it as?” He asked.
“Half-up, half-down.” You took a hair tie off your wrist, holding it our for him.
“What?”
“Like, instead of an actual ponytail, just make the top of my hair one, and leave the rest down.”
You didn’t even have to look at this man to know there was nothing going on inside his head trying to figure out what the hell you just said.
Thankfully, your father came out of the store.
“And what’s going on here?”
Angus looked over his shoulder. “I uh…”
“Step aside please, Mr. Tully.”
He did, and your father snatched the hair tie you were holding. “Half-up, half-down?”
“Yes, please.” You nodded.
“Do you know how to braid hair, Angus?” He asked, tying the hair tie around the ponytail he made.
“No.”
He hummed disapprovingly, sliding the ribbon into the hair tie and beginning to make a bow. “You should; it’s quite an important skill for a man.”
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